relativity.

oh gosh this is my last day on civilisation.

my stomach is working up already.
i dont know why i keep waking up early.
i couldnt sleep last night.

i wonder which is the reason. ha haaaaaa.

studying chinese at the airport with fifi was quite productive? by my standards at least. but if only i knew, it was completely pointless. like all the words that came out today, i'd never seen before in my life. so yeahh. that was it man. the deciding paper. so i try and comfort myself, d7 is technically a pass whatever happens.

i've spent too much time online my eyes hurt.

watched monster-in-law with xues at tm. freaking funny movie that is too long if you have a full bladder. but i was laughing like mad. hahah good movie good movie.

i'm on the verge of being happy i tell you.

i feel like a 24-hour help line.

LITERALLY.

I DONT WANNA GO BINTAN ANYMOREEEE.

they asked us to write our three major concerns. here's what i wrote
1. toilet conditions
2. traveling time
3. food

what i meant was..
1. EEEKY TOILET IN THE DORMS AND WORSE ONES IN THE VILLAGE. sobsobsobsob
i am concerned that i won't be able to hold my breath long enough for me to use the toilet
i am concerned about the things i might see inside :o
thank God, though, that i already got my period unlike fifi hahah
2. HE SAID WE HAVE TO TAKE AN OLD DIRTY 1960s SBS LIKE BUS TO AND FRO THE VILLAGE AND DORM EVERY DAY :'(
actually i'm quite worried about the ferry too, but less, because it's only one hour there and another back.
3. FOOD POISONING
nah food's not really a concern for me because i'm determined to bring my own instant noodles and chips and chocolate etcetcetc.
i only wrote 'food' because i couldnt possibly write 'people' right?

left ocip early to meet li. lunched. shopped to no avail haha. movied. My Boyfriend is Blood Type B was awesome. haha han ji hye is my new favourite girl. she's got awesome style! i love the clothes she wore. and the movie was just freaking sweet and funny. makes you wanna fall right into love and all it's pain.

town was crazy crowded man. so hurried on home to hide out. great singapore sale is on so people are EVERYWHERE. it's scary and irritating and i hate it.

if this one great plan could work, just this one, i promise i'll pay the price. hahah

WOOOOHOOOOOO THE HOLIDAYS ARE HEREEEEEEEEEEE!!

i have been waiting for this for so long i am about to cry tears of extreme happiness and relief. but on a more sombre note, reaching this also means that prelims and As are that much closer........

....to being over!! hahaha

ok i'm just slightly high on the holiday mood. opted out of school since it was going to be a half day anyway. met karenina (i like how it goes NEEEna haha) and shar for lunch. the horrible place made us wait one freaking hour for our food (and forced us to change our movie tickets)! the service was horrible except for this one waitress whom i felt quite sorry for cos she was nice enough to sneak us a brownie for our inconvenience. we decided that if we had really public blogs we would have posted a huge NEVER GO TO THIS PLACE NEVER NEVER NEVER so that they would lose business and have to close down. but since we dont, i guess we'll just have to settle for watching them get their own bad name without our help haha.

madagascar was freaking FUNNY. hahaha seriously funny la. i love melman the giraffe voiced by david schwimmer (a.k.a. ross from friends). he's so damn neurotic. haha all the other animals were adorable in their own rights too. great movie to watch for the holidays!

shopped around. i realise i want so many things now. haha. i need that trip to thailand now and not after As!

lovely way to wake up :)

i cannot believe bo bice lost :(

ANYWAY. such a confusing day.

oops did i forget to mention i dont deal too well with shit like this? if only we were fluffywuffy people then we could all have a group huggg and all things would be sugar sweet again.

humm. blueslipped out of rugby finals (which we won woohoo) and went down to payalebar to meet chineseteachergrace. haha chinese is actually quite.. cough can i say this.. fun. it's like cracking a puzzle, looking at each word and inferring the meaning hahah. speaking of chinese, i passed my bloody prelims!! i cannot express how happy i am. sure it was alot of luck and my chinese teacher seems to love my compositions, but whatever man! -does a little jig of happiness- (metaphorically of course haha)

and you can be my one eight one
and i your minus eighty three.

why am i so sleepy!

chose children story books in the morn. reminded me of the days i would spend at the tampines library when i was younger. heh. walked over to expo for a bk breakfast/lunch after that before heading back to school.

now that i realise, i headed off for sushi buffet lunch right after that. right after the bk meal. haha pig!! anyway, sushi buffet was pretty alright. :)

i spent most of the day on buses actually. bus ride to changi, bus ride back to school, bus ride to parkway, bus ride to eunos. each about 30-60mins long. bus bus busss.

i have three options now. one, go take a nap. two, watch american idol (go bo!). and three, do my war lit assignment.

i close my eyes and try to visualise any memory of today that i would like to preserve.

haha guess there's nothing. today was just long, empty, mean, hungry, stupid i.e. typical.

argh e4 is so annoying. have made zero progress on it. thankfully ganga kind of expected it so it's all cool for now. haha

on a big blue slip tomorrow. WICKED! :D

i am completely hooked on backstreet boy's incomplete. it was watching the video last night! the orangey video. haha lyrics are pretty sad, if not sappy.

today was a feel (and probably look) shitty day.

bummed around in town.

liars shall burn in hell :(

i hope the potatowedge vow/swear works.

two-faced liars burn double in hell :( :(

gluttons-anon is about to be put in action! haha

short, activity-filled week ahead!

crummy war lit essay still not done :(

thinks too much.....

i'm hiding behind the excuse that i didnt bring home my lit books and thus cannot do the damn war lit essay. shitty lit. i remember when war lit used to be easy and shakespeare was real tough but now it's the complete opposite while prac crit continues to stagnate in the middle. arghhh.

so i gave up trying to do anything productive at about 5pm yesterday. turned on the tele and hbo was showing What A Girl Wants. AND AND AND i caught the part where oliver james sings a long time coming LIVE. hahahah omg i was coming off that song a bit but seeing him do it live, i just fell it love with it all over again.

decided to watch freakyfriday on dvd to relive my first sighting of chad michael murray. hahaha. he is SO FREAKING HOT (even with the shitty hair) and the show is really hilarious. my mum and i were laughing like mad watching it. hahah.

i'm such a waster! shall go do some math or something later before i leave to meet the girls to do our favourite thing. hahah rah at least i woke up early!

so tired i shall blog in spurts today.

lunch at marche with li.
new cd at good price! :)
watched weird people play "Perfect 10 Dares You To!"
bumped into jacq and i'm only mentioning this because i dreamt of her last night out of the blue. hahah
met sis at junction8.
bumped into gayeong!
forced sis to watched house of wax.
which was horribly grotesque!!
but chad michael murray was so feckin hot it was WORTH IT.
and so was kirsten dunst lookalike with better teeth.
whose name is elisha cuthbert (yeah i imdb-ed her). why is that name so familiar? haha
HAH and the wade dude is jared padalecki (of gilmore girls) I KNEW IT.
he is so irritating in the movie tho, i really wanted to BOX him.
paris hilton is freaking hot too!
and the short chadmichaelmurray friend was so cute. i really didnt want him to die :(
i actually reallyreally liked the movie!
and i am totally hooked on The Teenage Workbook. hahah

mum's birthday dinner at uncle richard's house.
the food was fantastic. pepper crabs, curry crabs with fried mantous, oyster omelette, strawberry cheesecake, DURIANS etc. but i really really hate these extended family things. everyone really doesnt know anyone else. other than the siblings i suppose. and we all just sit around. think about it. family is just stupid, really. cause everyone has to like each other. it's not like you have a choice, cos you're family. so like it's this big big gathering and whatever it is, whatever you say, do, think, you have to get along. -.- four freaking hours. i just sat there messaging people to keep my brain from dying. and the whole while, michael buble's home was playing in my head. haha it was apt, really, that i kept listening to it last night.

I PASSED FREAKING 5 ITEMS!!

was formulating so many, so many different ways to get out of it. you know, by like cheating and faking results and all. but in the end, i didnt really have to resort to that cos everything fell into place. and my crowning moment of glory was when i did six inclined pull ups! much thanks to the laxity of the rocking greenshirtguy. i simply adore the ac relief pe teachers and lawrenceang's lack of a memory. haha

school is so emptyy. everyone is filtering in and out and in and out (teachers included) cos of drama and sports seasons and pure laziness.

chinese aos are in like a week? had an extra chinese lesson today. and out of the first five questions, i got one miserable question correct. then the next five questions i got three. how on this freaking earth am i going to pass please tell me!! and my chinese teacher is very agitated. haha i can see the 'how can you be so stupid' look in her eyes i tell you. i feel bad but it's not very encouraging ok!

dingdong!
something to disect over the long weekend! :D

so weird, i just blogged my day in reverse order. haha

my first early day in a wholeee week!

ed board meeting got cancelled so lunched with shar with the intention of bk at holland v but, somehow or other, we ended up on the wrong bus and got to kfc at anchorpoint. haha. was all good tho cos we finally satisfied our chicken craving!

today was just like the weather. starting off irritatingly hot but ending off nice and cool.

haha i'm so happy now. because now i have something concrete to look at.
quote of my life; 'you're never gonna find it if you're looking for it, won't come your way.'
reverse applies too, i suppose.

went for a run just now. i love how you feel after a run.

feels great that the tests are over and the assignment due tomorrow is completed! and that a long weekend is coming up! :D

this entry has been really hard to type. but it was just one of those days you need to record down. i hope this suffices to trigger off my memory in the future haha.

i knew i forgot to mention something.
i can't believe vonzell got voted out of american idol! her voice is only about 10 times better than carrie underwood (however you spell that). but i guess this makes it all the easier for mr bo bice, with the awesome voice and squinty eyed smile, to win! :D

completely. useless. and pointless. day.

we have come to the conclusion that life in school, or at least in 2ad1, is parallel to life in survivor. the lazing around doing absolutely nothing. the conspiring. the alliances. i guess looking at it this way makes it more bearable. plus the fact that i'm not the one on the outside right now. haha. so anyway, had about three periods of lessons since prince didnt come and pe was cancelled because of the rain and because our pe teacher rocks.

ed board photoshoot was quite hilarious and long-drawn. and the photographer dude had issues with my height! (although we were all sitting down) he made me sit on a chinese dictionary...

chinese prelims was ok i guess. although i'm not optimistic about passing it.

highlight of my pathetic day? ----> :O

i think i'm starting to develop this annoying habit of laughing uncontrollably over nothing in particular. i think it irritates people and it's embarrassing. i dont even know if i derive any joy from those fits of laughter or if they are just muscle spasms.

met shar at tantockseng hospital to get our vaccinations in the morning. i had laughing fits at like 10-minute intervals while waiting. possibly because i was so damn nervous. i was laughing even as i got the damn jab. hahaha. the nurses there are really nice and cute tho :) and the jab was pretty painless. yay over and done. but after that, i think the frequency of the laughing fits just went up twofold. hahah. wandered around a bit in the hospital. was surreal walking along the corridors of wards you always see in tv shows. they are bigger in real life..

headed down to novena square for lunch. met up with karen and, suprise suprise, bumped into sharm. hahaha so was like some mini class reunion. cabbed down to marina square to support bowling. sorry i'm not what you would call cheerleader material. clapping and whooping is about as far as i go. stuck around for a bit then headed back to school with shar. just in time for a peanutbutter waffle, return of the native and ocip. speaking of which, lynn is the most hilarious person. hahaha he is sooo amusing to watch.

oh i feel horribly drugged from the jab, or maybe from the nurse saying that the jab would make me drowsy. i always did suffer more mentally than physically. should go have an early night, 3 hour chinese prelim paper tomorrow! :O

the unexpected pin wave, something to fall back on. :)

no school for me tomorrow! (today, whatever)

self declared sleep-in/vaccination/bowling supporting.

without the prospect of having to wake up at 5.40am tomorrow, i suddenly have a couple of stolen hours. what else can a girl do but talk to herself here, sort out her thoughts a little, while listening to mellow songs as soft as she can so shes doesnt wake the parentals.

oh actually i might just go do my e8 essay. because i rock and i'm already halfway done with it.

so the good thing is it's wearing off just as it's becoming ridiculous.

long time coming by oliver james.

i loooooooooveeee that song. i even LUV and LURVEE and LUBB and LURBBB it.

today was disastrous in every sense, yet wonderful in every other.
as one grows, two others die.

shoot, shag, marry all the way to jurongeast. i do love shar, my happy air. :)

survivor just made me cry. like seriously. i'm such a loser being addicted to this overrun american reality tv program. and excuse me for my ridiculous obsession with skinnyboy ian haha. but he has the most adorable puppydog eyes and the voice of a muppet from Sesame Street! and most of all, he has the truest truest heart i've ever seen on survivor, or ever really. he can't lie for shit. and he gave up his shot for a million bucks so that he could prove that his friendship was true. you gotta love the guy!

i put up the fl codes. trying to decide if they look distasteful and clashing with the general peacefulness of this skin.

anyhows. thunderstorm last night was so horribly frightening!

i was blissfully listening to my favourite song, playing my favourite game online when

BAM!

accompanied with the brightest lightning i've ever seen. the whole place kinda lit up. and the worst thing was that i was facing the window. wtf man. we all like started panicking and my dad made me turn off everything electrically related, except for one light far far away from us. each time i went to turn off something, i felt like i was in a classic horror movie where just as the person reaches to turn off the light/computer/radio the lightning comes and basically fries the person. then as i lay in bed, holding my sister's hand, i had to cover my eyes because the lightning was so blinding i was seriously getting a headache. plus she would squeeeeeeze my hand every single time there was lightning/thunder. so it was a pretty nightmarish night.

and when i wake up this morning, it's all bright and sunny with birds chirping and all. i look out the window, not a hint of yesterday's disaster.

wow huh.

this blogskin is so peaceful and blissful and everything i'm not feeling. haha but i like it. it makes me happy. so it stays for now :) dont know what i should do with that empty green space there. not into links/tagboard etcetc anymore. maybe i'll put up fl codes! soon.. when i have time...

pink was the colour of the day. pink top, pink slippers, pink hairband, pink bag, pink watch, pink earrings, pink ice cream. finally used up my voucher today. it rocks using money that isnt money. got a gorgeous pink sweater from nautica. was torn between two. but comfort over glam anytime. haha. it made me happyyy.

cramps are attacking full on. kind of killed the mood of my day.

DAMN STUPID KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. if only. if only it could have been a wee little more appealing to me, then everything would have been perfect, would have worked out fine. i killed my own fate!

bad girl bad girl bad girl didnt go to church today. :(

i quite like my place now. :)

but you know one thing about real life that's different from reel life? there's really no such thing as a happy ending. it's not so much that i am one of those cynics that dont believe that good things happen in life. they do, but they never fade off from there suggesting that it's permanent. in fact, the only real ending that can even happen in real life is death. so it's really quite depressing that whenever you encounter a happy moment, or happy period, you know it's just a rest stop before the next bit of disaster comes your way.

holland v was fun today. :)

i am finding it increasingly hard to express myself here. haha

ran 2.4 today. it was, in one word, horrible. the process was, at least. the sun today was scorching/baking/blistering. and there were soooo many people running as well. it was just like a whole mass of people charging on the heat-emanating red rubber track. so it was like heat from the sun, heat from the track, heat from the mass of people. it took everything in me to finish the run without stopping. stupid motivations. the whole time i was thinking,bath bath bath BATH!! in the end, i managed to do it in 15:30. :D i was really happy, cos i think i ran the last two rounds much faster than i thought i would be able to. so yay and hopefully i dont everevereverever have to do this again.

stayed back after school for chinese moe exam thing. you know it's so sad. i could read practically every single word in the questions, but not the options for the answers. so yeah, it was pretty redundant! by the time i reached the comprehension (which was terribly terribly sucky by the way!), i simply had no mood whatsoever to complete the paper. i couldnt for the life of me find anything relating to the questions in the passage. so since we could leave whenever we finished, i just scribbled some bullshit and got the hell out of there. stoooopid chinese. too bad prelims next week we can't leave whenever we're done, plus it's a 3 hour paper. SOBSOBSOB!!

once again, i think about fatee. right place right time right person. right place wrong time right person. right place wrong time wrong person. wrong place right time right person. wrong place wrong time right person. wrong place wrong time wrong person. etcetcetc. so many permutations. haha this reminds me of math now.

it's so funny it's not.

today was a long but great day, until.

drowning my sorrows in solitare. how apt!

last night, my stomach was stuffed, but i felt an insatiable feeling of hunger creeping up my throat.
now, my stomach is growling and is horribly hollow, but my throat refuses to swallow and i nearly gagged on the fish.

huh.

things that made me happy today! (see the happy exclamation marks!)

shiwen bought me sweets from m&s! i got 45 for my gp package test! yummy chicken rice 'jia cai'! i passed my chinese oral with a 12(upon 20)! meeting li during lunch and vandalising her timetable! sitting at the bleachers with shar watching people do their 2.4 (hehehehe)! new arts fac shirt that is really pretty (and designed by shar yay)! a pandan cake treat on the way home! my spanking-wanking new songs! and something sweet from the neighhhhh-boor!

things that didnt make me too happy.

not enough sleep the night before. morning pep talk by michy (even the head dance gets old after a while). having to do oral for chinese (eeyikes) staying back for arts fac meeting that was pretty pointless. walking alone to the mrt station in shitty weather. the long ride home with strangers.

and as i ramble on about my life, i stop and think about the life lost today. although i dont know who he is, it still comes as a shock and i do hope he rests in peace. :')

whoa. it's like the attack of the searchmiracle keyword thing. you know, that stupid site that makes links out of words like 'mba', 'moving', 'date' etcetcetc, all over people's blogs/sites. it's like they increased their keywords now to practically every single word (except 'the', 'it', 'and' etcetc), which is annoying and not cool at all!

anyhoos. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to my mum who will never (i hope) be reading this. had a nice mother-daughters 'bonding session' to the hairdressers. (which thankfully wanst a disaster, and actually turned out pretty well!) then went grocery shopping for pasta lunch. bought a strawberry cheesecake! headed back, had lunch. then i totally got hooked onto this stupid book i got from the book sale the other day. gossipgirl, it's called. it's filled with gossip gossip gossip (what else haha). and it's a real bimbotic read but i really couldnt get out of it! there's just something about reading about the politics of american highschool. especially an elite private girls school. hehe.

i'm addicted to cheeeeese! but only when it's in something. like cheese prata, ruffles chedder and cheese chips, ritz cheese biscuits, strawberry cheesecake, parmesan spaghetti sauce etcetcetc. the stupidest thing is i really really hate cheese on it's own. haha this is so pointless.

i must go, chinese essay and econs tys awaits me!

last night i dreamt..

i dreamt that i was talking to my boyfriend on msn. except i had no idea who he was. we were talking about random things. and i think i was happy. then fastforward to a school day. i am walking towards nl6 when mrprince comes up to me and says he needs to talk to me. he asks me to go into the nl opposite nl6. there is a class inside with random people from school. it is a science class. for some reason, i knew that the so called boyfriend i was talking to on msn was in that class. then mrprince starts showing me these exam papers with really really bad marks. and he shows me the very ridiculous mistakes that are lost on me because they are science papers. so all i do is smile and laugh politely. then i realise he is showing me these papers because they are the boyfriend's ones. as i walk out of the nl, the boyfriend comes over, who is a horrible morph of, i dont know, alot of people from all over. as i walk into nl6, i apologise to a morph of prince's body and rama's character but i know the lesson that is going on is econs. i sit next to shar and fiona is next to her. they ask what happened. and i dont know why i smile and say, 'later'.

end of dream.

i think i dreamt about something at the ccab hockey pitch and it's netted fence too. and another msn conversation. and also something to do with the 9oclock show. and something else i can't remember yet the impression of which is still in my brain.

i remember when i used to record my dreams down. they were always warped but i loved reliving them. and sometimes i returned to them.

anyways, i've decided that the worst way to die is no longer drowning, but by an attack of birds! the feathers, the beaks poking every part of your body, the squawks. even if i survived that i would never be able to live again. FCK i hate birds. my stupid bird just flew out of its cage and is sitting on the floor. i dont know wtf to do because i'm all alone at home. so i closed the corridor door and am leaving it to the outside while i stay in my part of the house. i dont care if it dies or flies away, really. and now there are stupid crows squawking outside my window. i think i'll go look for an online game called Kill The Birds or something.