i'm feeling so jaded i'm pissing myself off. somehow when i'm with people, i feel okay. but when i'm alone, i feel so damn blueee. but at the same time i also want to be alone? hohum.

i have 12 documents to print tomorrow. tutorials to prepare for thursday. a report due on friday. readings for psych where i'm 4chapters behind. learning for econs where i dont even know how behind i am. sea readings which i'm pretty damn behind as well. and i just checked the answers for eng test and my wrong answers outweigh my correct answers by so much i think i'll end up with zero marks since it's BLOODY NEGATIVE MARKING (whoever invented this shit?) and as for bio, i just dont want to think about it cos the presentation is over and i've s/u ed it after all so i should not worry too much. (HA i'll die laughing if i actually end up having the highest grade for bio and i actually have this horrible feeling i will)

so anyway, that was my accademic panic babble.

and for the record, watched prestige with karen today. coffeebeaned with xue and chels, sushi and ice cream for dinner at the airport with sis and d!

anyway this is my prescription for myself, so eunice please listen and follow ok. (tho i hardly ever follow prescriptions but i shall this time i guess):

essentially, i shall be a mugger from now till the end of exams in early dec. no more shopping unnecessarily. no more wasting hours online doing nothing of importance. no more thinking about stupid things from the past. no more fantasizing about the not so possible future. no more being lost. BE FOCUSED DAMNIT. ok can do this. i really dont want to screw up first sem of first year. so i will do this. and i will start by going to school early tomorrow to print my stuff, top up my cashcard, sign my forms and read up before psych lecture. AND i will also read on the train. i will read wherever i can! nerd out! hahah. ok goals are good. goals are making me happy. and i think i'm going crazy. so bye bye i shall go pack my bag now.

oh and i just want to say, i love my favourite people :) hahah.

went to church this morning with karen mum and sis. and karen's right, i'm a bad girl who needs peer pressure to get her ass to church. anyway service was really good. thought provoking. my life right now is essentially a mess. alot of good things are happening and i've never felt happier and more sure of what's going on but i've also never felt sadder and more depressed and more confused about what i want. hmm.

anyway, went down to marinasquare for lunch at subway. i think every one who works at subway should be trained to make salads?! i mean seriously, second time i've encountered a subway person who didnt even know the subway salad existed. tsktsk. shopping after that. and i have obsessive compulsion to shop and buy things. which is awful. so many things i'm annoyed with myself. my spending, my not doing my work, my addiction to the laptop, my obsession with the wrong things.

i really want to read books! my fave authors all have new books out! but i have no bleeding time. even thinking about the hols that are coming, it's only one damn month then it's back to school. and there are so many things i need to do in that one month. why am i even thinking about december? i have a million and one things to do tomorrow. they are popping up in my head haphazardly and i feel i should be writing them down lest i forget them but i dont want to.

been thinking about dream jobs lately. children's party planner! there were more but i can't for the life of me remember now.

read someone's uh words just now. haha and i'm amazed at how it hit me. woke me up more like. life's not that simple really. and ideals...well are just ideals. merely a concept of something in its perfection. and well, we all know that "concept" and "perfection" both dont exist. so maybe this is why i'm so hell depressed.

anyway, nice song heard at the semi empty subway just now. thanks kareninaaa for sending :)

She said I think I'll go to Boston.
I think I'll start a new life.
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name.
I'll get out of California,
I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly 'em out to Spain.
I think I'll go to Boston.
I think that I'm just tired.
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind.
I think I need a sunrise,
I'm tired of Sunset,
I hear it's nice in the summer, some snow would be nice, oh yeah.

i want to go alaska nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. just to get away.

i need to do something about my laptop addiction. it's like there's nothing to do but i FIND things to do just so that i stay in this position and keep staring at this screen. which is scary/freaky/horrible/gross.

just read alot pluto jokes (?) on "When i was your age, pluto was still a planet" at facebook and now i'm feeling rather sad that pluto is no longer a planet :( a bit delayed reaction but yeah. poor pluto! and it's no longer "Nine Pies" but "Nougat" now. bah really makes you feel like a part of the past generation huh. growing up, progress and new discoveries suck sometimes.



anyway, A BIG BIRTHDAY SHOUTOUT (singapore time hee) TO MY DARLING NINETEEN YEAR OLD DEBBIE BUDDY! :D :D


i really really miss you tons and tons and tons. but i'm so happy that we can still remain close despite you being miles away! :) can't wait till you come back and we can have Debbie's Dress Party and i can give you your present (which i was so spot on in choosing ha ha!) and shopping and COOKIES AND CREAM ICE CREAM and many many other things! :) have a great great day ok! and i'm so so sorry about being so slow in sending your card! but it'll come! soon! hahaha. love you loads! *kisses :)

today has been a completely lazeabout day. watched back to back episodes of prison break which was GREAT! (thanks twinnieee :D) everyone loves scofield, but i really like lincoln!! hahah. i did a pathetic beyond pathetic total of three pages of psych today. i have a lovely set of songs playing now courtesy of myspace music! :D i dont know what the point of this entry is.

well english test today SUCKED so badly it's highly possible i fail it or get a single digit or whatever which really sucks cos that screws up my eng grade :( so much for being happy about the project grade! booo. anyways, went over to spinelli's with grace and jolene (i think? haha oops) for some oatmeal raisin cookies and ranting about how evil maaaaadelena is. then went back to arts to meet shiwens and headed down to vivo for thaiexpress, seaprojectmeeting, forever21 and pods! :)

anyway, i kill tens and tens of ants a day. should i be feeling guilty? i mean i am ending lives on a regular basis and all. sometimes i feel a lil bad when they are struggling even after i squished them but MAN I REALLY HATE THE ANT INVASION GOING ON IN MY ROOM!!! the damn things are attracted to ANYTHING edible. and this includes water which i find really ridiculous and bloody annoying. when i have time, i will go get some ANT POISON. muahahaha.

hmm survivor season has started again! yay i love survivor. anyway, i'm fully supoorting the asian tribe (which just so happens to have the two hottest guys haha). they won the first challenge! wooot! :)

ok what else about today. oh yes, i'm feeling depressed. ha ha.

anyway, i LOVE this song! No Doubling Back live by mr mraz of course :D

i am happy happy! becauseeee, presentation is over! :D :D :D looking back, i really had a fun time working with those girls and i'm happy we managed to work so well together :) left lecture right after my presentation, with a very pink face hahah, and went over to spinelli's for a celebratory strawberry cupcake! the cutest i've ever had, complete with pink swirly icing, colourful sprinklies and a strawberry motiffed wrapper. it was really yummy and big and cheap too! haha. can you tell i really loved it? xD

then went down to town to meet xue&chels. what was supposed to be a 40min bus ride turned out to take close to two damn hours because of my bus-stupidity again. got onto the RIGHT bus, but in the WRONG direction. so instead of heading towards town, i was happily heading towards serangoon. -.- zzzzzz. was quite a horrible experience cos i was needing to pee plus tired plus cold and without a sweater. :( anyways, had dinner at food republic! my first time! hahah. cool enough place :) food (at least the kimchi rice) not that great tho.




went to school early to study englishhhhh. stayed away from arts mostly today. went over to macs at engin for lunch! then went over to yih to study. nice placeee with a buffer. hahahah. anyway, eng tutorial. got back our project! (and strangely enough i dreamt that we would be getting back the project today haha) really really happy cos we did preeeety well :D i had fun working with those girls too. :) anyway, i'm so happy most projects are all wrapping up. now all that's left for this sem (except exams) is eng test tmr, foodsecurity test, sea report and sea project. COUNTABLE ON ONE HAND!!! lovely.

i'm really really really really really REALLY craving for a jasonmraz concert now. hahah i hope he continues singing till i'm old (and rich) enough to fly around to his concerts.

anyway, better go study eng now!

ok i spent THE ENTIRE DAY of my hari raya holiday at jiaxin's house working on our food security project. omg. we met at 10AM and i left her house at like 4PM?! insanity. it's not so much the time spent, but how the time was flying. cos it honestly felt like about 2hours? and we were trying to decide if that was a good or bad thing. anyway, at least we are more or less set to present tomorrow, so that makes it worth it :) anyway, i'm really thankful for having these two groupmates (the other one didnt show again for undisclosed reasons...). cos they are nice and easy to work with and intelligent too, so i feel very lucky. seriously.

ok anyway, came back home and had dinner/took a nap before going down to the indoor stadium for hype up! haha. parents drove us down. and they actually gatecrashed the last hour of the concert! hahaha. anyway, the turn out was really bad! loads of empty seats. it was worse than the shinwa concert (which cost more??). quite surprising actually. but anyway, got relatively good seats right smack in the center. opening act was hady! who was good of course! and he was in his beanie. :D followed by daphne, which i didnt really enjoy honestly. her voice just doesnt suit the songs she sang. then sly who, though i HATE to admit, was pretty darn good with his chinese song. this was followed by lucify. and i had my fingers to my ears throughout their entire four song set. cos it was so DAMN noisy?! and they were just screaming and screaming away. totally killed my ears. next up, paul twohill. and i must say he is really damn fun to watch. i love his dancing style haha. and he was quite in tune today! then jasmine tye, whom i'm biased against so i will not comment. hurr. olinda was next, and she is definitely the best vocalist out of the three girls. AND, she has slimmed down omg by so much. she has really nice fans tho! a bunch of them came up to the stage giving her these really biiiig bouquets of flowers! then it was don and drew who were damn entertaining and funny. :D and then ELECTRICO! man i'm a new fan. they sound REALLY REALLY GOOD. and i love their usa song. i felt so bad for them cos the crowd sucked and didnt sing along. cos it was a real sing (scream) along worthy song. jon was next, and he was really quite good. he's just much better live if you ask me. haha and he's damn polite cos he's the only one who gave special mention to the band. and finallyyy, it was taufik! and i HAVE TO ADMIT, he's really damn good la. dance damn well, sing damn well, PR damn well. haha. AND he did a chinese song which was sooo amazing the crowd actually went crazy cheering. haha. and so, i officially say, i am a reconverted fan. last set was taufik plus HADY (who i still love best cos his smile and voice is just :D) plus the everyone else. nice ending!

gatecrashing parents drove us back after that, to buy supper as well. damn freaking full now. and hair wet. so i dont know when i'll get to sleep, tho i'm damn tired. and i have to wake up at 7something tmr cos of 10am lecture. and i still need to decide what to wear for presentation. rargh.

anyway, didnt really manage to capture good pics cos the lighting was really bad, kept flashing and flashing away, blinding us terribly. but these two are for twinnie! :D hahah

spot the jon! xD

aaaaand a somewhat nicer pic. hahah

argh my bloody phone keypad is like totally wonked. what i press doesnt correspond to what comes out on the screen. and 7s and Ss appear mysteriously even when i'm not pressing anything. sounds like it's possessed....but i dont believe in such things so.. DAMN MOTOROLA! look good on the outside but sucks on the inside! anyway, probably wont be able to reply msges so yeah, just to let people know in general. haha. k shall go pack my bag now!

man. just had the funniest msn conversation ever.

but you know, the more i laugh, the sadder my heart feels. not even trying to be emo here, but it's like a biological reflex? haha.

anyway. i am

happy, because there are things to look forward to.
sad, because i realise i'm not cut out for the things i want.
annoyed, because i have project meeting at 10 am tomorrow, a public holiday!
stressed, because i cant churn out a speech for my presentation.
worried, becuase i have a presentation on wed.
and....
shocked, because it's almost one?!

hahahah. ok this is so happyfunny. woke up damn late today. i cant seem to break my late nights/mornings. anyway, that's not the point. i've been wanting to go for the hype up concert right, but couldnt really find anyone interested or free enough to go with me. hahah except my sis but then we were both feeling stingy about tickets. so i saw this competition in 8days for the 78dollar tickets. and i thought why not, since it only costs 20cents to enter. AND i won the damn tickets. hahahahahah. so hady singing live here i comeeeee! :D :D :D

i dont know what to do? i sleep too little = headache and sleepy , sleep too much = headache and sleepy. roar. anyway, spent the afternoon gettying alaska. hahaha. evidently i am still high on alaska. anyway, i declare, I LOVE PUFFINS! they are the only species of bird i do not hate. hurr. oh yes, and we have started a blog (already) for alaska memories. http://www.aly-es-ka.blogspot.com. alyeska being the old name for alaska (i think), and conveniently bearing our intials "es" in it as well. hee :)

evening was spent at adrian's house for taee's surprise 60th birthday! haha. the first thing she exlaimed when she saw all of us was dismay at the state of her attire. hahaha. damn cute la she :)

ok just got back from a very stressful time at orchard hotel.

anyway, long story shortened. the westmark people had decided that they only wanted people who could work until aug 20th and beyond. which is well into our second week of school. so after that annoucement, we had an extremely panicky fifteen minutes in the toilet calculating calculating and weighing pros and cons. before we finally decided that we would give up first week of school and stick with westmark hotels. and so, we went ahead with the interview, which i can safely say was the easiest interview i've ever been through. in fact it was more like i was interviewing the interviewers than viceversa. and so the bottom line is, i actually signed a document saying that i would be going off to alaska from may10 to aug20 next year. man we were so shellshocked after that. we walked out of the hotel dazed? haha.

went over to forum to have chocolatecake and pie at secret recipie. we got a little more excited there. will just have to focus on the money, the northern lights etc instead of the having to be away from home for more than three freaking months (and missing lots of birthdays in the process), the possible cold, the having to bid for modules abroad, the missing first week or so of school, the ABSOLUTELY NO CITY LIFE etcetcetc. went over to lido supermarket to look at instant singaporean food which we are each devoting 5kg of luggage space to. haha.

ok anyways, off to aunty's house for grandma's 90th (whoa) birthday now!

[edit]

birthday party. very interesting. we had songs, games and dedications. didnt expect that. haha. anyway, pictures..

okayyy. damn freaking tired! so tired i fell into DEEP sleep on the train just now. so tired that my entire body aches. 8am lecture, wasnt so bad considering my tiredness. but after lecture slept for two hours in the library. woke up so woozy. went down to meet shiwen and krys for lunch. but somehow had no appetite so had like ICE with fruits. not even fruits with ice cos of the pathetic amount of fruits they gave me. hurr. then we went down to kentridge terminal to meet qianhui and go down to vivo togetherr.



walking through the underpass to vivo, we saw this REALLY tall guy..



anyway, shopped around for an hour. no more pods at candy empire! already!! :( so got a giant bar of nougat to share instead. then headed over to pac coffee to study. had a hot and yummy chickenpie! left after a while cos it was getting too crowded. so walked ALL OVER vivo. there are SO MANY shops there man. i wonder how they will survive with all the competition after the whole hype is over and people stop flocking over so often.

got bored looking at things to buy so we started looking for photoworthy places instead. hahah.





actually bumped into my aunt and my cousin's kid in the toilet. keep bumping into my cousins' adorable kids these days. hahah. anyway my aunt probably thinks i'm crazy cos we were taking photos in the toilet when i saw her. and she asked if we were waiting for our friend and because i didnt want to tell her we were taking photos, i actually said, no we're just hanging out here. 0.0 and she LAUGHED at me like i was mad. which in hindsight, i probably appeared to be. hanging out in the toilet?! hahahah what the hell.

then went down to eunos. were very facinated by the giant ketuput and tried to take a photo with both of us in it. which basically resulted in us looking like total idiots and STILL not getting the picture. but getting a damn stomachache from laughing. hahaha.



anyways, geylang serai was a myraid of lovelylovely pretty sights. the beauty and chaos can somewhat be summarised in the photopile below, but not justified.



after three hours of walking, we were dead tired and could not figure out the puzzle of the oneway road with bustops on both sides. so we ended up missing tauhuay with the girls :( trudged to the airconditioned post office instead and settled for (pretty yummy) korean food instead! shiwen's friend came over and talked to us a bit more about hariraya and stuff too since he was in the area with his mum. so i guess we collected sufficient material for our lovely one-page field trip report!

oh yes, and check out this pants i saw for sale at the bazaar...




ok anyways, shld sleep. interview tmr and i'm damn excited slash scared cos i really cant wait to confirm the whole usa thing but also damn scared we dont get alaskaaa. =x ok sleep!

ok. to keep things short. yesterday was

-dress and skirt day!
-depressing sea lecture day (tho the very start was quite *v*)
-10 min food security lecture (hurrhurr)
-shopabout hollandv
-doublescoop at island creamery :D :D

today. 9 to 5 tutorial day. and i was surviving on like 4 hours of sleep? had a slight wardrobe malfunction in the morning but thanks to shiwen, a safety pin and a stapler, all was well in about 5 mins. hehe :) sea tute today was taken by our lecturer. so now she knows all our names and has new names to call during lecture. excellent. oh but we watched this video on burma. it evoked alot of feelings. which i'm too tired to go into now but will soon i think? econs tute was so ZZZZZZZZ. the tutor just LOVES to complicate the simplest things and can go round and round and round AND ROUND which just gives me the biggest headache. rar. then psych tute. where i was horrified to realise i knew nothing about developmental psych, which is also the division (?) of psych i'm most interested in. haha long weekend to be devoted to psych. and yes psych tutorial was nice today. HAHA.

bused down to holland to meet karen and fi for a bit after el tute. then bused down a very long one hour to grace's house where a great spread of food to be "steamboated" awaited. haha.

check out the bubbling pot of hothot tomyam soupppp.

dinner conversation was subdued at first as we busied our mouths with eating. and mostly all that could be heard was sniffing cos the tomyam was real hot man. hahah. anyway, :) it was real nice all sitting around a big table like "cny reunion dinner" and stuffing ourselves and making random conversation.

anyway, a big shout out of happy birthday to miss gracey, my elusive nus babe! hahah. thanks for being such a lovelylovely hostess and i hope to see more of youuuuu ok! :D

oh and yes, thanks to xue for all the lovely pics. hehe.

k. i must be crazy cos i have an 8am lecture and a really long day tomorrow. yet i sit here and blog. will. sleep. like. now.

very anticlimatically, the lecture we planned to skip today got cancelled cos the lecturer was not feeling well. hahah.

went down to vivo to meet twinnie for some shopping! candy empire is open! and OMG you can get very disorientated in there. everywhere you turn is a new form of excitement. pods! redrock chips! zigzag twisties! etcetcetc! then headed down to arabstreet/hajilane in search for pluck the ice cream place! on the way, stumbled upon a couple of really gorgeous shops. and bought yet another dress. tho for what i dont know. but it was really too pretty to resist :( anyway, i really like arab street!! it's like, if not for the very singaporean looking roads, you totally feel like you are in another country. lovely. yet another exploreworthy place :) oh yes, and pluck is totally cool man. and so is the ice cream. albeit a bit too small portion.




went over to bugis for a bit. and i thought i had come off bugis and the whole "same old same old shops" thing but somehow i managed to find ALOT of things to buy. so yes. spent quite alot of money unintentionally. but yay. got new clothes to wear! that makes me happy. somewhat. haha. had dinner then came homee. :)

i suck because i have not done ANY work ever since friday. will buck up. as of tmr on the train.

i wonder,

is hope foolish?

finally finished food security slides. whoop. i love changi village. absolutely explore-worthy. we stumbled upon a fish shop with the prettiest fishes (it's got to be pretty damn pretty for a fish hater like me to be in awe) and stingrays and tubs of baby crabs and snails with spiderman motiffs painted on them and tinytanks filled with baby terrapins. also stumbled upon a shop overflowing with ethnic printed clothings. from indian sundresses, to japanese boleros, to thai skirts. they even sold plain colored overalls. or rather "coveralls". you know, the kind that workers wear. i always thought they looked damn cute cos they practically look like colorful, albeit headless, persons.

and i find looking at trees strangely therapeutic.

oh yes. my mum dropped my camera! boo to her :( cos now the battery cover cannot shut properly. roar. honestly, i love my mum and all, but she has a tendency to destroy my things. harsh as that sounds. but it's true and even she knows it. one of my clearest childhood memories is how she took my painting and added on things to it, with good intentions, but I HATED IT. and i got so pissed i cried and cried. (this is a childhood memory. hence childish behaviour.) and yes. that basically sums up how it is. at the same time, to me my mum is superwoman as well. she's always got a solution for everything. and when she doesnt, well that's when you should panic. hurr. and well she's superwoman in many many other ways as well. but i shall not go into another random discussion. oh but, she has actually started blogging. as of today in fact. somehow, the idea of a parent blogging is just so weird to me. but well. haha. welcome, mum, into the world of blogging then! :)

today,
-met karen for the briefest of brief catchups on the platform of cityhall. haha. :)
-did stupid rp which involved me pressing one of two numbers on the keypad according to letters i saw. it was fun for about the first two minutes?! and the damn thing was like 30++min long. doing the same thing over and over and over again. no wonder the guy looked apologetic when he left me to do the experiment. ha.
-eng tutorial. handed in project . HURRAH. and actually today was the first time i felt i learnt something from eng tute. haha and my tutor is REALLY CUTE upclose? she reminds me of edna mode from the incredibles, but rounder. hurrhurr.
-went home with rebekah, my groupmate who lives in pasir ris too! wooooot. :) we went groceryshopping where i did my snack stocking cos aunt gave me a $20 voucher for ntuc. hahah :D some kind of therapy. wheee.

actually couldnt be bothered to blog about today. cos i'm damn tired and like 8 am lecture tmr?? but i dont like not keeping track of my days when i can help it. i realise i didnt use to be like that. hahaha blogging has become somewhat of a daily (or rather nightly) ritual now. hurr.

watching nangnak in the morning is not doing good things to me. keep thinking back and thinking back to the show, which was terribly graphic. and scary in a not creepy way (thank goodness) heh. anyways, had lunch after before going to the library to google northen lights and auroras. we are like OBSESSED. haha then went over to science for (yawn)food security. dont know why we drag our sorry asses there twice every week only to stone and stone and leave early. zzz. oh yes, realised halfway through lecture that i had forgotten to bring my calculator for econs test. thank goodness for science friend youfei :)

went back to arts to crash soci lecture. man shld have taken soci this sem! practically half of steamy is in that lecture. and have i mentioned i love steamy ppl? i'm sure i have. hahah. was nice getting to see all of them :) and soci is pretty interesting. makes you think...about things like, if you were starving, would you rather eat your own waste, or another fellow human being, or would you rather just die? hahahaha. ok anyways, left early with joce and her friend to go for econs test at the mph! wah scary shit man. it felt like a levels all over again. eeks. and my head was really hurting like crap, dont know why, i think it's the lack of sleep. but anyway, thankfully it was only 30 questions and mcq at that. so i managed to finish in like 30mins and quickly got out of that...brightly lit place with so many humans all around me. hahaha ok i sound psychotic somewhat. oh wells, i hope my neglecting econs wont cause me to screw up the test. andd i think that's it for mid term tests so hurray hurray! just got to clear that el project tomorrow then i'm done! for this week that is. next week, well that's a whole other set of things to clear. oh yes, and ushering on sat. i'm quite nervous. bahh. okok sleep now.

hahah. ok just got back results for food security test. 80%! which is annoying. considering how i s/u-ed it. doh. but anyway got through slides day as well! at first i had NOTHING to write about the stupid attire of hawkers right. but i had this flash of inspiration last night. so when i showed my groupmates my slides, it didnt seem so pathetic, and actually quite substantial, even tho i only thought about it like a day ago. their slides are looking really good tho! i'm so thankful i have them :) haha.

left food sec lecture halfway AGAIN. zzz. went over to central library to calculate the pros and cons of each employer and state. and finally. we decided on ALASKA! hahahaha. cos the pay's fantastic, so is the housing and food costs. and alaska is so pretty! and and alot of things. i'm so excited but half expecting our plans to fall through. though we are paying registration fee tmr. which means we'll probably be going for the interviews on 21oct. which also means, by next sat, i will know if i got a job and if i'll be flying off to summer in alaska next year. whoa. but you know what, even if plans, tough wood, fall through, man planning the trip was fun enough. hahaha it's like an obsession with us now, every day making plans to earn extra cash in US (babysit, give chinese tuition HA HA), save money (share meals hurr), cope with being away from home (monthly crying sessions. hahaha) etcetc :)

ANYWAYS, that aside. we were just discussing what tmr's dress code for sea would be. and we were thinking since we would be watchng nang nak tmr it would be white for like ghosts. and bingo! it's white. hahahah. ok this is getting lame. and i need to study for the darn econs test tmr.

argh. ok. today is just one of those days where you look back and think of all the stupid things you did, and go ARGH WHY.

dont you wish there was this eraser function to events in your life. i really wish there was such a thing. escapist attitude maybe. but things would really be much easier. and this leads to one thing i hate about myself - how i always like the easiest way out. not very commendable but then again, screwwwwwww judgemental people man. pftt.

hell week has started.

after being attached to the laptop the ENTIRE weekend. i attached my laptop to me today. hurhur. so lame. hahahah. but yeah anyways, my laptop's virgin outing! and because this lousy owner has yet to buy it a cover yet, it had to endure being wrapped in a pathetic layer of cloth, much to the amusement of some ppl. boo. haha anyway, it rocks having your laptop in sch man you feel so connected. outside the fact that is no fun lugging about 2kg of deadweight all around school. anyways, monday was dedicated to PSYCH once again. -.- finishing up term paper, making last minute useless citations and printing and doing more RP. zzz.

then went down to com center to get my laptop configured. which took ageeeees. and i actually dont like it being configured! cos all my stuff are messed up now. rars. but the good thing is i got free antivirus. haha. then went down to macs at engin. anyways, i kinda like the engin fac cos it's so peaceful! and lots of pretty trees. and the canteen is so pretty! and they have macs! hahah ok maybe it was the timing as well. but it was really tranquil man. as compared to arts which is just people people people all over the place all the time.

ok anyway, the good thing about today is that the term paper is out of the way now. tho i feel that i did a really slipshod job. =x but oh wells. hopefully it's enough to pass. and english project has more or less shaped up just now. it feels like only two of us are doing the project. but in a sense it's also better, cos too many people make things complicated honestly. so now i'm just left with BLOODY FOOD SECURITY. ARGH. i cannot emphasize enough how much i hate this module. this is like literature in jc all over again. but i hate hate hate food security!! it pisses me off how it's 2 two-hour lectures every week now. that just SUCKS man. and the damn presentation. argh. oh yes, and econs test too. have totally been neglecting econs man. ok will clock in about an hour of econs studying later. and then try and think of how to make slides on "the attire of hawkers in singapore". -rollseyes.

you know what sucks?

being bored when you dont even have the time to be bored!

ROAR.

I ACTUALLY FINISHED MY TERM PAPER. ohmygad. at least more or less. finetuning will be done in school on mondayyy. but considering how short it actually is, i'm wondering why i took so much time doing it. rars. spent an entire day on a less than 600 word essay. and in the process..

-ate ALOT. when your brain is working overtime, you need lots of comfort food.
-slept ALOT. been a long time since i had an afternoon nap. i blame this on the bloody haze tho!
-pangsehed people. oops :(
-digressed alot cos of msn even tho i was appearing offline in bid to stop distractions. zzz.

and when i tried my stupid experiment on my parents, i nearly gave up. esp my mum. everytime i tried to get her to blink she would just burst out laughing. which made me burst out laughing. -.- and my dad. refused to bloody blink and ended up making me blink. then they both laughed at what stupid things uni students have to do. :(

speaking of my parents, i'm quite surprised at their reactions to the usa thing. i mean, it's 3months in freaking USA but they are like GO FOR IT! hahaha. somehow that makes me more wary thoooo. well i guess i'll leave the decision on shiwenss then. if she goes i will! if not, then well, i'll go next year? haha.

and i want snowskin mooncakeeeeees!!! mooncake festival is over (right?) and i still havent eaten them yet :( pooey. ok. i shld sleep soon cos tmr will be devoted to working on the english report. another day attached to the laptop. 0.0

should have heeded your advice sweetZ. but i'm still good. hurr.

yesterday was one loooooooooong, sleepy day. el lecture. was utterly boring. and i was feeling so fidgety, maybe from lack of sleep? after lecture, which thankfully ended early, had a quick pasta lunch with shiwen before going down to holland to meet chels. SAW A REALLY CUTE CAT that behaved like a dog (to me). man i think i'm fast on my way to becoming a cat convert. meow ^_^ studieeeeeed at gelare. nice place to study! cos no one goes there. there's MTV. the cushions are GREAT. etcetc. then xue&jac came and i left to go back to schooool.

met shiwen and attempted some futile research for our term paper. haha. anyways, i like studying on the 6th floor! you feel so elevated. haha and the view rocks! it's so brighhttt and people are constantly moving around (quietly) so it feels very alive :D i like 3rd floor too! for starkly different reasons. cos 3rd floor you really feel HOLED up. and it's very sedate there. hahah. ok i just let myself go into a discussion on library floors. hmmmm.

ANYWAYS, went to meet jocelyn to go for the USA talk. it's all very exciting honestly, but at the same time, hell scary? haha. anyways, i have until wed to decide!! weekend: talking it out with parents, mon: trash it out with shiwen, tues: make a decision, wed: regret the decision. hahahahah. oh wellllllls.

bused back to holland to meet the rest who were still studying at gelare! then we headed down to the famous (apparently) holland v xo fish beehoon place. food was gooood! dinner conversation was even better. hahahah. i think i totally appalled everyone (including myself) with the state of my chinese. :( but it was hilarious anyways. and i learned new words! haha.

anyways, two pictures! :)

at gelare. loveeees :)

the gelaregang. hahaha.
i think bo looks utterly cute here :)

ok i WILL start on my term paper now.

ok today was a preeeeety good day! :D was actually suffering from SEVERE SLEEP DEPRIVATION cos of my foolish late night last night. dragged myself to school for my 9am sea tute and forced my eyes open on the train so i could finish the readings. anyway, our usual tutor was away for NS or something so we got this other tutor who was REALLY GOOD! maybe it was the topics of discussion (sex&gender and magic&religion) but she managed to get a really good discussion going. haha. i hadnt felt the feeling of "enlightenment" in a classroom in so long honestly. so kudos to her for that :)

anyway, today was just a very pleasant day in school. hee. oh and i got back my eng test paper! and i'm quite happy with it! wheee. i just hope the other midterm papers will be like that too. heh.

having difficulty consolidating my thoughts. just too many things to think about? like i wanted to say alot of things. but anyway now prison break is on and the toe is about to be cut off. or actually it just got cut of and i missed it. thank goodness. HAHA. ok i shall just publish this cos i dont want the previous post to be lingering on top. hurrr.

ok. i am like. so irritated with some people. and like (i realise i tend to use like when i'm irritated to a point of semi incoherence.) ARGH. (see the incoherence) i dont know who to complain to. more like who it's safe to complain to. and so i have to resort to insinuations on my blog. to like vent. you know catharsis and shit. but ARGHHHHHHHHHHH. actually it's been bothering me from the start of time. but now i just feel so irritated and contemptuous towards (insert names). and i feel annoyed and unhappy talking to (same names). argh. piss me off only. today was actually quite an ok day!!!! >:(

ANYWAY, it's like 12something. i have to wake up at like 630 tmr. but i will read about humans being buried alive in buildings for good luck, before i sleep. spooky spooky.

dysfunctional families are too much of a cliche now. how about dysfunctional friendships man.

ok. today i like met the kindest soul ever man. was happily walking to the deck when i got a call from someone telling me she picked up my wallet and planner WHICH I DIDNT EVEN KNOW I DROPPED. man. how cool am i. anyway, thank goodness 1) a kind honest soul picked it up 2) i dropped my wallet with my planner cos my number was in my planner and 3) she didnt call my mum/dad cos their numbers were also in the planner and she said she almost did. hahaha cos i would have been SO SCREWED if my dad found out. in caps, bold and underlined.

the rest of the day was spent wandering around school bumping into "people we dont usually bump into", doing rp, buying more pepperidge cookies, waiting around, being VERY late for lecture yet leaving early.

went down to cine to meet karen & fi for subway salad and john tucker must die! haha. it was quite a lame movie and i could actually think of numerous ways the plot could have been better. but at the same time, it was also pretty entertaining and funny. a good middle of school week movie i say! trained back after that with karen who nicely accompanied me back to kill time. hahah :)

k got tons of reading to do for sea tute tmr. which i will start on NOW since i've procrastinated long enoughhhh.

THE PSYCH TEST IS OVERRRRRR. :D :D was actually quite annoyed cos in all my intent reading of the text, i actually neglected to read the lecture notes. and since i barely pay attention to or remember what is being taught in lecture, i missed about ten questions worth of information. rars. decided to just leave those questions blank since it's negative marking. so byebye ten marks :( booo. hahah. ANYWAYS. thankfully there was more than enough time. strangely enough though, people with the audacity to leave wayyyyy before time was up kept stumbling as they made their way out. hahaha. so there were a couple of interrupting bumps and thumps. -.-

was too drained to actually feel happy after the paper. rushed off for el meeting where i cleverly volunteered to write the final paper. am still wondering why the hell i did that... then had an OILY OILY lunch. but yummy too. hehe. walked over to sci for bloody food security which was not making any sense not to mention was damn sian so we left during the break. and headed down to holland v! which was so fun :D i really like holland v. reminds me of the nonstressful parts of aclife. of earlydays. of buddytime before econs tuitionn! etcetc. hmm and the shops there are really exploreworthy! ventured into lims (which i usually only ever stepped in to use their toilet haha) which i thought was really cool cos it had a whole variety of interior stuff. from antique stuff to quirky cups to pretty lamps :) and found a shop selling the prettiest handmade clothes! we were going mad exclaiming "oh man this is so pretty!" at every other piece of clothing. haha. ended up buying a "piece of" retail therapy in the form of a pretty skirt. wheee :)

anyway, random food sidenote, this has been our comfort food of the new midsem..

minus the chocolate dipped part. man it's SERIOUSLY YUMMY. the only cookies i can eat consecutives of. it's so good, endorphins are being released even as i look at this picture. hahahaha. and some Literal Eye Candy. yumyum. can get fat and diabetic just looking. haha.

ok i feel like in some kind of holiday mood now that psych test is over. but back to reality. this is just a little gasp of air cos.. next week, i have one psych term paper due on mon, one econs test on tues, food security presentation slides due on wed (or is it tues) and english project due on thurs. not to mention my first ushering job on sat. (which i thankfully got the sports awards and not some address.) ohmygosh.

and....i desperately need to learn skills in multitasking.

ohmygad. i've been studying psych like psychocrazy the past two days. spent my FREE DAY holed up in the central library with shiwen studying PSYCH and panicking over the ridiculous amount of words and concepts that we need to memorise for our test tmr. i know it's mcq BUT 100 questions in 90mins aint cool man! and when 50% of the words are words you have NEVER come across in your life, well that makes it so much easier. [edit]oh shits and it's negative marking too. which is just... great.[/edit]

and in stark comparison, this is why i feel a temporary burst of love for econs right now..

Dear folks

1. The mid-term test for EC1101E will be held next week at MPSH1 on October 11 2006 from 6-7pm.

3. There will be 30 multiple choice questions based on Topics 1-5 (Microeconomics).

wow. 60 mins for 30 questions? that's more like it! :D

2. If there are among us who wish to "break fast" please do bring some tit-bits and water.

and can snack too! hahah.

hmm.. i wonder if there's any truth to the corrosive nature of raw pineapples like my aunt has taught me to believe. cos it just so happens i ate a bowl of pineapples for the past two days and i seem to have induced cramps in myself. which sucks. and strangely, i'm DAMN HUNGRY today. like the hunger cant be appeased! had a bowl of pasta in school. and less than an hour later i was hungry. had three BIG YUMMY CHOCOLATELY CHEWY cookies throughout the day. came home, wolfed down my dinner. STILL FELT HUNGRY. ate lots of chips. and i'm still hungry. but stomach is pain too. waha. that sucks. ok anyway, shall go do MORE PSYCH now. so i can watch grey's later. hee. cant wait for the test tmr to be over!! it'll be such a load off. tho i'll have to start cramming for the econs test next week right after that. zzz.

and like i said before, i just dont understand. tut tut.

[edit] OMG today's episode of grey's on ch5 was DAMN EMOTIONALLY DRAINING. haha. the moment it ended me and shiwen msged each other "oh shit oh shit oh shit" at the same time. or at least her msg came when i was in the middle of typing mine. they sure know how to end with a bang, pun fully unintended. ha. gonna have some heavy REM sleep tonight. haha my gad i'm applying psych to my every day life man. ok back to psych [/edit]

and....

just like that.

term break has ended.

: (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

unbelievable.

but it's too hard to say,
i wish things were simple.

i just cant study at home. :( sucks. pretty much wasted the day away. neither being productive or enjoying slacking.

then went over to costa sands for derrick's birthday!

1. brownie/cake yonghui baked.
2. us lighting up the cake and the floor. hahah.
3-4. presenting the cake to the birthdayboy! :)

then after eating the yummy food, we decided to take a walk to the beach.

walked back after that, with derrick who very nicely accompanied me haha, through pasir ris park. whee such a nice cool night. anyways, i really do like steamy lots :) everyone is just so nicee. hehe. and i love how turnouts are always so good! probably cos our group is so big. haha. ok gonna sleep soon. cannot let my body clock get used to these late nights and mornings!

something about medicine and my own and bitter.