wheeee. my dad bought a new chair for himself and he let me sit on it till he needs it later. it's comfy but firm! has nice arm rests! and generally rocks! i want one too :( and i have a new study place. the very abandoned "study room" in my house. dont know why i never thought of using it. it's free of distractions, except right now that i've brought the laptop out to check on some academic matters. and i must be mad cos i'm ushering three times next week alone. i usually only usher once a month! actually twice only but i might get to usher for electrico's gig which i really want! just that i might end up getting assigned to an outside position which might potentially suck but nevermind. haha. the events i got are all pretty fun anyway cos the nus artsfest is going on! rather exciting i guess. oh and today's a happy day cos i got to see my favourite local singer live. hehe :) oh and my family is still lao-ing yusheng! haha my dad is addicted to it man. but it's all good. cos i like it too :D aaaand i should totally get back to studying for stats.
babblebubble.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
breathe.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
it's horrifying.
that i've finished all the episodes of greys i have.
and that every single week left of this sem, i have either tests, termpapers/projects due or presentations.
every single week.
and all i want, is more greys :(
i dont like life very much right now.
i wish it were more like a tv show. a tv show with good and exciting plots and heartwarming lines and a good soundtrack. but then again, even a trashy tv show would do. cos my life is so seriously boring and without mirth whatsoever now that if it were a tv show it would be cancelled on the first episode. ZERO entertainment value. yawn.
i should go like study for my stats test or something now.
that i've finished all the episodes of greys i have.
and that every single week left of this sem, i have either tests, termpapers/projects due or presentations.
every single week.
and all i want, is more greys :(
i dont like life very much right now.
i wish it were more like a tv show. a tv show with good and exciting plots and heartwarming lines and a good soundtrack. but then again, even a trashy tv show would do. cos my life is so seriously boring and without mirth whatsoever now that if it were a tv show it would be cancelled on the first episode. ZERO entertainment value. yawn.
i should go like study for my stats test or something now.
i wish for many things.
Monday, February 26, 2007
it's like physically impossible to have episodes of greys and not watch it. i disgustingly watched 5episodes today. despite the fact that i still have tests coming up and shit loads of reading to do. and it's taking everything in me to not continue. AHHHH.
anyway one test down! :D only three more tests till i can breathe again. take that deep breath i'll need for my manymany term papers and projects. second half of sem sucks!
my timetable of late has been a complete mess. i hate waiting on people to confirm times with me and the such. i hate feeling so completely out of control of my own life. i hate living so far away from school. i hate how "un-independent" i am (no, not dependent. just not independent.). and i wish i had conviction.
i love words.
i'm sorry, your contempt rubbed off me.
i'm sorry your contempt rubbed off me.
anyway one test down! :D only three more tests till i can breathe again. take that deep breath i'll need for my manymany term papers and projects. second half of sem sucks!
my timetable of late has been a complete mess. i hate waiting on people to confirm times with me and the such. i hate feeling so completely out of control of my own life. i hate living so far away from school. i hate how "un-independent" i am (no, not dependent. just not independent.). and i wish i had conviction.
i love words.
i'm sorry, your contempt rubbed off me.
i'm sorry your contempt rubbed off me.
planning fallacy.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
i have no idea why i'm blogging, or online even, when i have a test tomorrow that i'm not exactly done studying for. my term break has been pretty non-existant. visiting. majhong-ing. and then sleeping the entire day to make up for it. eating. eating. AND EATING. studying. studying. studying. AND STUDYING. with one lone and miserable shopping trip. oh and ever since last night, greying. greying. AND GREYING. haha greys anatomy seriously rocks. thank you my "piratess" friend, jolene :)
so i guess what i wanted to say basically was, term break went by too quickly! and i dont want school to start :( next two weeks WILL be shitty. cos of four mid-term tests (and i've only actually studied for one. ha ha) and ushering interview (they changed it from a test to an interview. i am half-relieved) and just simply assimilating back to school.
:( i wish i could just camp in school.
and i would just like to say, that i'm so frustrated i'm incoherent and thus the above post is annoyingly nothing like what i wanted to say or record, but i'm going to leave it anyway cos, as i said, i'm frustratingly incoherent and i dont know what else to say already.
so i guess what i wanted to say basically was, term break went by too quickly! and i dont want school to start :( next two weeks WILL be shitty. cos of four mid-term tests (and i've only actually studied for one. ha ha) and ushering interview (they changed it from a test to an interview. i am half-relieved) and just simply assimilating back to school.
:( i wish i could just camp in school.
and i would just like to say, that i'm so frustrated i'm incoherent and thus the above post is annoyingly nothing like what i wanted to say or record, but i'm going to leave it anyway cos, as i said, i'm frustratingly incoherent and i dont know what else to say already.
walk on.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
i'm starting to really dislike T2 departure hall.
really hate the feeling of saying goodbye for so long :(
sighhhhhh.
that aside, thanks jo for the company today! :) :)
really hate the feeling of saying goodbye for so long :(
so to the one who makes me laugh even on my shittiest day,
you won't believe how i'm missing you already :(
you won't believe how i'm missing you already :(
sighhhhhh.
that aside, thanks jo for the company today! :) :)
dry swimming.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
so yesterday, i attempted spring cleaning my room. was a pitiful attempt tho. i merely just repacked my stuff and wiped a bit here and there. haha. it's hard to spring clean when you cant exactly throw away all those books and notes that are taking so much freaking space on your table. and unfortunately, i'm not exactly the neatest person in the world. i honestly dont mind my table being a mess, so long as i can find what i need to find.
then went down to bugis to have dinner with debbie buddy! :D :D we went to this magical place at arab street...
haha i always thought that mosque looked so gorgeously regal. (stupid dustbin in the foreground btw) anyways, we didnt eat there but at zamzam's which is next to it! took buddy for their good good murtabaks :) then we walked around haji lane (which is slightly scary at night) and bugis street! bugis still rules as my favourite place for hidden treasures :)
then went down to bugis to have dinner with debbie buddy! :D :D we went to this magical place at arab street...
haha i always thought that mosque looked so gorgeously regal. (stupid dustbin in the foreground btw) anyways, we didnt eat there but at zamzam's which is next to it! took buddy for their good good murtabaks :) then we walked around haji lane (which is slightly scary at night) and bugis street! bugis still rules as my favourite place for hidden treasures :)
ooh and bugis junction had very pretty cny decorations!
i love you muchly buddy! ♥ can't believe you're leaving in two freaking days :(
trained down to bukitbatok (previously uncharted land for me) where a group of us met to go to yonghui's house to play majhong! so exciting cos the last time i played was in primary school. haha. it's such a confusing game really. but well i had a good teacher and practice makes perfect. and we sure had alot of practice. haha we played from 11pm to like 7am and come to think of it, i think i was the only one who didnt move out of my seat while everyone else took turns. HAHA. of course in between there was the very intense snacking on goodies that yonghui so generously laid out for us. haha. and the watching of the VERY disturbing show Boys Don't Cry. omg that was one very warped, tragic, depressing show :( and in honesty, i dont know what to think about it. so moving on..
majhong is addictive!
some of my pretty wins! :D
majhongaddicts! haha
two sleeping beauties, two ever-energetic girls who were the only two not to succumb to sleep even for a second! haha. and kimseng and his obsession with whatever that combination is called.
and so yes, we played till the sun came up.
headed over to macs for brekkie. and then i dragged myself onto the train and slept the whole way home. now i dont feel like sleeping anymore. and i feel hungry but i have no appetite. so my body is pretty confused. anyway i think this marks the end of cny festivities for me. other than finishing up all the goodies at home. yay! ushering the year of the pig has been relatively fun! :)
there's no place that far.
Monday, February 19, 2007
i've always loved Memory. how it retains all you may or may not want to revist. how it captures fleeting moments and safekeeps them. how it attaches a whole myriad of feelings and emotions to each event, each song, each smell, each person. and what i love most is how they can be triggered - by will, by sound, by touch, by smell, by sight.
lately, i've been dwelling on the past far too much more than usual. on the good and the bad. on the could haves, the what ifs, the well dones, the i-wouldnt-have-it-any-other-ways. but whatever i dwell on, it still makes me unhappy. because those moments are gone and nothing can be done to change them, even to re-experience them. i guess it's the transition of growing into an adult. i've lived my whole life thus far as a child. the adult has always been someone else. now i'm caught in the middle. i don't think i'm a child anymore, not ever since i saw all those children look up to me as someone who should know what the hell was going on. but i sure am not an adult either. i still look to my mum, my dad, my aunt, someone else, for help, for the right thing to do, for approval. it's such a confusing thing and i hate it. if someone asked me if i would live my life over again, i think i would say yes. in fact, i would give anything just to go back to childhood days. and it's this desperate feeling of wanting to cling on to all that has gone or is about to be gone that scares me.
ok wow. this is what happens after days of seeing people you've seen throughout your years of growing up (i.e. your relatives) and listening to westlife the whole day. which was actually my main point of this entry (hence the picture up there). but i clearly got carried away. but this always happens when i listen to westlife. because with their music, comes attached all these secondary school memories. all these memories of a young teenage girl who hated being singaporean and wished with all her heart she were english. went on the school trip to uk not to see the homes of literary greats but because that's where westlife was (HA HA), where castles were, where everything she read about was. how can things you believe in so much, feelings you feel so strongly, change just because of time? basically i'm just very upset that time is passing so fast when i'm not done figuring out what i'm feeling each time. and there are so many things i want to do yet can't find time or spaces to slot them in. i used to think i'd be so happy on the day of my graduation cos that marks the end of studying forever more. but now i think it might possibly just be the worst day of my life. cos it marks the end of "studenthood", the last claim i have to youth and non-"adultship".
this is so characteristic of me, i realise, to panic prematurely and overdramatically. and i could possibly go on forever, but i will stop now because.
side note
I HATE ANTS. i kill tens of them every day without any qualms. but when i see one struggling with a huge piece of food twice it's size, how the hell am i supposed to squish it?? and then i get really upset for all those others i've killed. they're just trying to live their lives. but i just wish it wouldnt interfere with mine. i would gladly provide them a room full of sugar AWAY from my room, my table, my stuff and let them live happy and full lives. but then again, the idea of a room teeming with ants is pretty damn disgusting. ugh.
oink oink.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
it's officially the year of the pig! (how apt)
how's that. does it look like a pig? HAHA.
i realise every year (for as long as i can remember) on chinese new year we do the same thing. wake up (reluctantly) too early for a holiday. take FOREVER to dress. take FOREVER to get out of the house cos we need to critique each others' clothes and take turns with the full-length mirror before deciding that we're ok to go. go to my big (in terms of seniority) aunt's house for breakfast snacking on goodies. bump into my ex-teachers (i.e. my cousin and her friends). then head off to my other big aunt's house for lunch with my mum's side.
and every year at my mum's side we take a picture at the same couch. haha.
happy piggy new year ^(. .)^
how's that. does it look like a pig? HAHA.
i realise every year (for as long as i can remember) on chinese new year we do the same thing. wake up (reluctantly) too early for a holiday. take FOREVER to dress. take FOREVER to get out of the house cos we need to critique each others' clothes and take turns with the full-length mirror before deciding that we're ok to go. go to my big (in terms of seniority) aunt's house for breakfast snacking on goodies. bump into my ex-teachers (i.e. my cousin and her friends). then head off to my other big aunt's house for lunch with my mum's side.
and every year at my mum's side we take a picture at the same couch. haha.
2006
and 2007
we took less pictures this year, thankfully. cos most of us migrated to one of the rooms to play with little lucious and his toys. and i realise university makes a very good topic of conversation. cos that's practically the only thing i've been talking with my cousins today and on friday.
oh and this year, the big excitement was over my cousin who's in cleo's top 50 bachelors list. haha! poor guy was mortified as the magazine (which had a pic of him half-naked) was passed from uncle to aunt to grandma to cousin.
and now that's him in a most manly pose. hahah
ok well, tis been a rather good cny this year. went by really swiftly and painlessly :) see, this is why i always say EXPECT THE WORSE AND ALL WILL BE FINE. heh.easy silence.
to the one and only one who let me never feel alone for 7 years,
i miss you already :(
ugly flowers.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
ok so cny season has started prematurely for me. just got back from reunion dinner with my dad's side of the family. funny how when i was younger i preferred my mum's side to my dad's but now it's the complete reverse. heh. anyways, this year joyce bought lots of lovely flowers for us to play with.
so i made my first attempt at flower arrangement. honestly, i thought it would be pretty simple and i was confident that i had enough aesthetic sense to make a decent looking bouquet. but from the moment i stuck the first flower in, i knew mine was going to suck. haha. i basically just grabbed random flowers that looked pretty on their own and stuck them in without any preconception of how they would turn out. hence, i actually managed to make the gorgeous flowers look ugly :(
ok enough of the flowers.
so it was a relatively pleasant night - a good start to cny! :)
lovely joyciee with the flowers
all 200 bucks worth of them!
so i made my first attempt at flower arrangement. honestly, i thought it would be pretty simple and i was confident that i had enough aesthetic sense to make a decent looking bouquet. but from the moment i stuck the first flower in, i knew mine was going to suck. haha. i basically just grabbed random flowers that looked pretty on their own and stuck them in without any preconception of how they would turn out. hence, i actually managed to make the gorgeous flowers look ugly :(
sparse and without artistic direction. i did try!
the flowers had a beauty contest. mine obviously wasnt even in the running.
ok enough of the flowers.
us with grandma
and all the people who turned up! minus the two only grandsons - one who had to go back to army and the other who was taking the photo.
so it was a relatively pleasant night - a good start to cny! :)
i must be kidding if i still can't forget.
Friday, February 16, 2007
anyway. term break has started! cny has arrived. i am mostly dreading more mindless hanging out with my dear cousins and aunts and uncles. sigh. at least this time there's good food and angpows. i sound like a rude prat but i cant help it. it's very painful making the same conversation with the same people year after year. and i just realised my only cousin who's the same age as me is freaking lucky cos gatherings are always at his house so he can conveniently hide in his room the whole time. maybe this antisocialness is an 87er thing. dont know why the sudden rant. my head hurts and i'm in a not too good mood. lectures today all put me to sleep. like for real. i woke up late again. but luckily lecture started late too so i only missed a bit. i wish nus offered spanish language or korean language instead of german, french, japanese etc. i dont understand why people like goong/princess hours cos i find it freaking boring and all of the characters are damn unappealing. i need some good tv. like prisonbreak!! greys! heroes! haha. shites.
how much would you pay for a dream to come true? haha
how much would you pay for a dream to come true? haha
(happy) heart day!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
it's been bad days at sch lately. a blur of classes and people and not enough of my shiwen! (esp yesterday). anyway, i had so many things to comment about but now i dont remember. oh just that i dont like tuesdays anymore.
ok. so after classes yesterday, went down to vivo to meet jolene. thanks for waiting for me :D :D anyway, lately i've come to realise that tho i am blur as a sotong, some of my friends are worse than me HA HA. my sense of direction is actually comparatively quite good man. hee. walked around then had dinner. :) then met chels & the rest of the girls to get xue's present and then wait for the birthday girl to arrive! hee. kudos to grace's creative juices cos i think xue was sufficiently suprised (freaked out?) haha. we basically blindfolded her all the way from vivo to cafe del mar at sentosa. from walking around flanked by two people (attracting a hell lot of stares including one caucasian couple who i think thought she just had eye surgery cos they gave us a very sympathetic smile lol) to feeling her way into cabs/trams to having to msg the destination to the cab driver to having to cover her ears whenever something that might give the location away could be heard. haha. but in the end, the clever 20yearold figured it out anyway.
ok so before i launch into panic mode. today. hearty hearty lovey flower day. spent the morning on a train with ahpeks (nothing against them or anything) on my way to vivo to meet my secret lunch date...
then bused down to sch. and had the great misfortune of having these two girls who talked damn loudly and laughed like horses INTO MY EAR. roar. i hate noisy people in small public spaces (lifts and buses etc) damn freaking annoying. anyway, met shiwen who brought with her two cookies from spinelli! i loveee oatmeal cookies from there they are THE BEST :D stats tutorial which was confusingggg. went to lovers park (there were no lovers tho. unless you count us or the ants) with my pardner for a short chillout. later i proceeded to get stranded at a busstop cos of the darn rain. and slept super unglamly all the trainride home. was so tired so had to cancel on dinner with jolene. i'm so lucky she's so flexible :):) haha. ate my cookies as well as chocolates and pineapple tarts then proceeded to sleep gooood and long. i'm very depressed at my high sugar intake and my low activity levels. i think stressing is my main form of exercise. and i can feel the flabs and pimples coming out already. but i cant stop! cos EVERYTHING IS JUST SO YUMMYYY and pretty :(
ok i'm blabbering so i should stop. and i realise i got mozzie bites :( bad ones. and i dont even know from where. grr. too much sleeping and sugar just now i feel restless tho i shld sleep in preparation of the long day tmr.
ok. so after classes yesterday, went down to vivo to meet jolene. thanks for waiting for me :D :D anyway, lately i've come to realise that tho i am blur as a sotong, some of my friends are worse than me HA HA. my sense of direction is actually comparatively quite good man. hee. walked around then had dinner. :) then met chels & the rest of the girls to get xue's present and then wait for the birthday girl to arrive! hee. kudos to grace's creative juices cos i think xue was sufficiently suprised (freaked out?) haha. we basically blindfolded her all the way from vivo to cafe del mar at sentosa. from walking around flanked by two people (attracting a hell lot of stares including one caucasian couple who i think thought she just had eye surgery cos they gave us a very sympathetic smile lol) to feeling her way into cabs/trams to having to msg the destination to the cab driver to having to cover her ears whenever something that might give the location away could be heard. haha. but in the end, the clever 20yearold figured it out anyway.
cute even when blindfolded! hahah xD
happy birthday twinnieeee ♥ and i realised we had actually talked about having your birthday at cafe del mar before. haha!
chellieee :D
a last pic with all the girls :)
trained to sengkang but missed the last bus home :( not to mention my lousy phone batt was completely flat. i loved the night air and being at sengkang tho. hee so walked a bit before flagging a cab. then walked a bit more before going home. my lousy parents were sleeping already la! even though i was home past my curfew. hmphhh. haha. my sis was awake tho thankfully, so i could give her her birthday card! :) felt a lil bad i couldnt spend even the last minutes of her birthday with her :( been feeling rather sad that my baby sister is also becoming a big girl! ha we're all growing up omg.ok so before i launch into panic mode. today. hearty hearty lovey flower day. spent the morning on a train with ahpeks (nothing against them or anything) on my way to vivo to meet my secret lunch date...
(...tho it's damn obvious)
my lovely buddy :D :D
walked walked a bit. bought each other the cute badges we've been eyeing from topshop! got one for shiwennie too :D and just by standing there, someone handed us (her) an $8 voucher. yay. hahah. then had lunch at corduroy cafe (lovely lovely place!). the beef lagsana was soooo good but so filling. haha
feel the buddy love! ♥
(thanks for the card and perfume btw! very sweeeet :D)
(thanks for the card and perfume btw! very sweeeet :D)
then bused down to sch. and had the great misfortune of having these two girls who talked damn loudly and laughed like horses INTO MY EAR. roar. i hate noisy people in small public spaces (lifts and buses etc) damn freaking annoying. anyway, met shiwen who brought with her two cookies from spinelli! i loveee oatmeal cookies from there they are THE BEST :D stats tutorial which was confusingggg. went to lovers park (there were no lovers tho. unless you count us or the ants) with my pardner for a short chillout. later i proceeded to get stranded at a busstop cos of the darn rain. and slept super unglamly all the trainride home. was so tired so had to cancel on dinner with jolene. i'm so lucky she's so flexible :):) haha. ate my cookies as well as chocolates and pineapple tarts then proceeded to sleep gooood and long. i'm very depressed at my high sugar intake and my low activity levels. i think stressing is my main form of exercise. and i can feel the flabs and pimples coming out already. but i cant stop! cos EVERYTHING IS JUST SO YUMMYYY and pretty :(
ok i'm blabbering so i should stop. and i realise i got mozzie bites :( bad ones. and i dont even know from where. grr. too much sleeping and sugar just now i feel restless tho i shld sleep in preparation of the long day tmr.
lovalove.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
to my extremely hot twenty year old twinnie;
have a smashing smashing entry into adulthood!!!
(and dont worry, i still love you like a teenager)
♥♥♥
fatruary.
Monday, February 12, 2007
february is such an eventful month. cny, valentinesday (not that that actually concerns me.), birthdays etcetc. thus i hereby name it FATruary. cny goodies, cakes, chocolates. omg. and given my soft spot for pineapple tarts, i forsee myself expanding a good lot.
anyway, this morning, on my way to soci tute, i was greeted by fluttering red paper hearts (tho i admit this is really preeeety!), pinkandwhite balloon archways and flowers, posters of love, flowers for sale etcetc all along the damn walkway. WHY IS NUS SO FREAKING INTO THIS SHIT. haha. i just dislike how vday puts pressure on people to be in picture-perfect love.
anyway, soci tutorial was alright. actually sociology is a very interesting subject. it just entails too much thought and time for reading. which i'm not that willing to give since i'm not even going to major in it. js tute was, as usual, frustrating. i honestly really dont care about whatever happened in japan all those years ago. and it pains me that i've spent one month attempting to follow it. (this week we're going to look into the japanese language. i know there are ppl out there who'd probably find that interesting but OMG i want to kill myself already.)
lunch at coffeclubexpress. am loving my weekly sandwich there :) haha. and shiwen brought her lovely pineapple tarts for me cos she knows i'm a pineappletart monster! :D
social psych lecture and then it was homee for tuition! my adorable little girl brought me a tub of pineappletarts and another tub of some other cookie. she looked like she was sinking under the weight of carrying it cos it was more than half her height. HAHA. and i successfully taught her how to count up to 20 (without the use of any toes). go me! hahaha.
anyway, this morning, on my way to soci tute, i was greeted by fluttering red paper hearts (tho i admit this is really preeeety!), pinkandwhite balloon archways and flowers, posters of love, flowers for sale etcetc all along the damn walkway. WHY IS NUS SO FREAKING INTO THIS SHIT. haha. i just dislike how vday puts pressure on people to be in picture-perfect love.
anyway, soci tutorial was alright. actually sociology is a very interesting subject. it just entails too much thought and time for reading. which i'm not that willing to give since i'm not even going to major in it. js tute was, as usual, frustrating. i honestly really dont care about whatever happened in japan all those years ago. and it pains me that i've spent one month attempting to follow it. (this week we're going to look into the japanese language. i know there are ppl out there who'd probably find that interesting but OMG i want to kill myself already.)
lunch at coffeclubexpress. am loving my weekly sandwich there :) haha. and shiwen brought her lovely pineapple tarts for me cos she knows i'm a pineappletart monster! :D
aint it absolute cuteness! happy piggy new year man xD
social psych lecture and then it was homee for tuition! my adorable little girl brought me a tub of pineappletarts and another tub of some other cookie. she looked like she was sinking under the weight of carrying it cos it was more than half her height. HAHA. and i successfully taught her how to count up to 20 (without the use of any toes). go me! hahaha.
i had a great quote i don't recall.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
lately i feel less and less comfortable blogging here. heh but at the same time i'm so comfortable with this place which is a joke and such a psychological thing because i could just change address but still blog in this same blogger box and still see my blog in the same windows internet explorer and nothing has to be different but the address. ANYWAY that was so irrelevant.
um. highlights of the day: jol crashed :) and because of that, we got to watch greys season3 episode 1 finally! hahah. sad sad episode albeit a bit too overdramatic i thought. not really a highlight but all lectures today were so darn sleep-inducing! oh wait, one highlight, no more japanese history lectures! woohoo. :D jol and i took train to boonlay just so we could get seats and sleep all the way to pasir ris. i slept till my neck hurt! haha. went to ikea tampines for dinner. FINALLY. my first time! haha anyway it's damn stupid, all fenced up so we practically had to walk all around it just to get in. anyway i've decided i love hypermarts! so bloody exciting!! ahah. and i always knew this, but I LOVEEEE HIGH CEILINGS. omg they make me so happy :):) hahah. anyway had my yummymeatballs and then icecream later on :D feeling very satisfied but my stomach is quite literally bulging out now. i really hate it how my stomach has been bloating and bulging the past few days. not just how it looks but how it FEELS gross too. ughh. if i had more self-control i would start eating healthier and less. but evidentally i dont. so i'll just stick to complaining about it.
anyway, i also wanted to blog about the skit on tuesday which was pretty awful. nearly choked on my sentences cos i was so damn nervous. haha. i realise i've never really gotten over my fear of public speaking but at least i'm getting better i think. and i also realise that the longer you stand there, the more comfortable you get and the fear just totally disappears. i should know, cos i ended up standing there for close to an hour. yes, our twenty minute skit got extended to almost an hour. cos apparently we werent very clear in our presentation so the tutor kept prompting the class to ask us questions and even when no one did, HE did. and i failed to realise, when i chose my role, that the narrator would have to field all these questions. doh. so i basically got thrown all these questions i could barely manage to answer. am still trying to decide if my tutor thinks i'm a complete idiot now. but NEVERMIND. i dont really think he knows my name anyway ha ha. i still think we did a commendable job because we only did get the research article 4 days before our presentation when we were meant to get it a week before. plus, HOW DOES ONE ACT OUT SURVEYS REALLY? (not trying to defend us here) but at least the other group had an actual experiment to act out. oh wells. i just hope he gives us a 5 (out of 10) at least. i'll be fine (i think) with that. heh. just dont fail us please! we did try :(
ok anyways, i'm just seriously happy that it's over!! and i have a long day tomorrow so i should probably sleep soon tho i know i'll end up wasting tons of time online and then crawling into bed only to be unable to fall asleep till it's time to wake up. typical.
um. highlights of the day: jol crashed :) and because of that, we got to watch greys season3 episode 1 finally! hahah. sad sad episode albeit a bit too overdramatic i thought. not really a highlight but all lectures today were so darn sleep-inducing! oh wait, one highlight, no more japanese history lectures! woohoo. :D jol and i took train to boonlay just so we could get seats and sleep all the way to pasir ris. i slept till my neck hurt! haha. went to ikea tampines for dinner. FINALLY. my first time! haha anyway it's damn stupid, all fenced up so we practically had to walk all around it just to get in. anyway i've decided i love hypermarts! so bloody exciting!! ahah. and i always knew this, but I LOVEEEE HIGH CEILINGS. omg they make me so happy :):) hahah. anyway had my yummymeatballs and then icecream later on :D feeling very satisfied but my stomach is quite literally bulging out now. i really hate it how my stomach has been bloating and bulging the past few days. not just how it looks but how it FEELS gross too. ughh. if i had more self-control i would start eating healthier and less. but evidentally i dont. so i'll just stick to complaining about it.
anyway, i also wanted to blog about the skit on tuesday which was pretty awful. nearly choked on my sentences cos i was so damn nervous. haha. i realise i've never really gotten over my fear of public speaking but at least i'm getting better i think. and i also realise that the longer you stand there, the more comfortable you get and the fear just totally disappears. i should know, cos i ended up standing there for close to an hour. yes, our twenty minute skit got extended to almost an hour. cos apparently we werent very clear in our presentation so the tutor kept prompting the class to ask us questions and even when no one did, HE did. and i failed to realise, when i chose my role, that the narrator would have to field all these questions. doh. so i basically got thrown all these questions i could barely manage to answer. am still trying to decide if my tutor thinks i'm a complete idiot now. but NEVERMIND. i dont really think he knows my name anyway ha ha. i still think we did a commendable job because we only did get the research article 4 days before our presentation when we were meant to get it a week before. plus, HOW DOES ONE ACT OUT SURVEYS REALLY? (not trying to defend us here) but at least the other group had an actual experiment to act out. oh wells. i just hope he gives us a 5 (out of 10) at least. i'll be fine (i think) with that. heh. just dont fail us please! we did try :(
ok anyways, i'm just seriously happy that it's over!! and i have a long day tomorrow so i should probably sleep soon tho i know i'll end up wasting tons of time online and then crawling into bed only to be unable to fall asleep till it's time to wake up. typical.
phew.
Monday, February 05, 2007
i love the feeling i get when an anticipated bad day turns out, well not good but not so bad after all. haha. it's a feeling of relief, of "oh maybe life isnt that bad", of peace and semi-happiness. haha. was really dreading today cos i had to sort out my socialpsych skit (which is happening tomorrow) and had to go for js tute when i knew nuts about the topic cos i missed the lecture (due to oversleeping) and, worst of all, had to go for socialpsych lecture alone :(
met my groupmates at 11 to finetune our script. had my first major sigh of relief because i secured the role of narrator. haha! even tho i'll be speaking the most tomorrow, at least i wont be acting. which is one thing i just cannot do. then met fi for js tute. i just kept my mouth shut mostly. cos i seriously had no idea what was going on. only spoke when i was sure nothing stupid was going to come out of my mouth. i.e. less than five times. went for lunch at coffeeclub express, with rachel too. the sandwiches are pretty darn good! tho in hindsight, 5bucks for a sandwich is, simply put, OVERPRICED! heh. socialpsych after. it was at this point where i realised how insecure i am. going for lecture alone shouldnt be a bigdeal for a soon-to-be 20-year-old (ugh). but i felt so damn unsettled. haha. then people kept sitting next to me then moving away making me even more unsettled. then this girl sat next to me. turns out she's an exchange student from L.A. (but she's chinese) by the name of emily. and the reason why i know all this is cos she just started talking to me. haha. but she was really nice and was my company for lecture and break :) then project meeting again after lecture. i think we're all quite happy with it and considering how we only had two meetings to prepare it, i think we did a pretty commendable job :D trained home with jesmine after that. i love how i always seem to have groupmates who stay in the east. yay!
tuition after. it's really awful teaching a kid how to add beyond the fingers on her hands. omg i could have died just now. i wish parents would hire people to play with their kids instead of teach them. my kind of job! haha. ok throat hurts :( i think it's my sister's constant coughing in my face! rar. i just want it to last for tomorrow! cant wait for skit to be over!! i really really hope it'll go fineee. k i should go finetune it now!
met my groupmates at 11 to finetune our script. had my first major sigh of relief because i secured the role of narrator. haha! even tho i'll be speaking the most tomorrow, at least i wont be acting. which is one thing i just cannot do. then met fi for js tute. i just kept my mouth shut mostly. cos i seriously had no idea what was going on. only spoke when i was sure nothing stupid was going to come out of my mouth. i.e. less than five times. went for lunch at coffeeclub express, with rachel too. the sandwiches are pretty darn good! tho in hindsight, 5bucks for a sandwich is, simply put, OVERPRICED! heh. socialpsych after. it was at this point where i realised how insecure i am. going for lecture alone shouldnt be a bigdeal for a soon-to-be 20-year-old (ugh). but i felt so damn unsettled. haha. then people kept sitting next to me then moving away making me even more unsettled. then this girl sat next to me. turns out she's an exchange student from L.A. (but she's chinese) by the name of emily. and the reason why i know all this is cos she just started talking to me. haha. but she was really nice and was my company for lecture and break :) then project meeting again after lecture. i think we're all quite happy with it and considering how we only had two meetings to prepare it, i think we did a pretty commendable job :D trained home with jesmine after that. i love how i always seem to have groupmates who stay in the east. yay!
tuition after. it's really awful teaching a kid how to add beyond the fingers on her hands. omg i could have died just now. i wish parents would hire people to play with their kids instead of teach them. my kind of job! haha. ok throat hurts :( i think it's my sister's constant coughing in my face! rar. i just want it to last for tomorrow! cant wait for skit to be over!! i really really hope it'll go fineee. k i should go finetune it now!
blow wind blow.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
today was a fantastic day. :) steamies went down to west coast park to fly kites! hee.
clouds were dark, but thank goodness it didnt rain :D
(disclaimer: these artypretty pics taken by shiwen! haha)
my three favourite pics.
joce, me, shiwen and qh with the colorful kites hafiz kindly provided :D
i absolutely love this pic. taken and edited by me. heh
some of us. me and ros have like the exact same positioning. hahah
clouds were dark, but thank goodness it didnt rain :D
(disclaimer: these artypretty pics taken by shiwen! haha)
my three favourite pics.
joce, me, shiwen and qh with the colorful kites hafiz kindly provided :D 
i absolutely love this pic. taken and edited by me. heh
and this, taken and edited by shiwen :D
sitting on the pretty mat that shiwen wisely brought along. haha
yonghui baked us yummy jam tarts!!
(most already devoured haha)
(most already devoured haha)
sad as it is, i'd never flown kites before today. haha. but it's really quite therapeutic. watching the colorful thing fly and flap in the wind against the blue blue sky :) damn tiring tho! haha so after about 2hours, we were all damn exhausted. the sun decided to come up real strong too. so we migrated to a shady spot to chill before attacking the playground! i love wcp playground :D
we all had a go at the flyingfox (my favvvv thing in playgrounds :D)
some of us. me and ros have like the exact same positioning. hahah
rosni and jocelyn :):)
almost all of us! missing malisa..
then we headed over to macs for some icecream/drinks/aircon.
almost all of us! now missing qianhui. hahah.
and finally dinner at zang-do (i think) at jurong east shopping center. that place is pretty good outside it's completely orange decor (tables, curtians, chairs, walls, staff etc). yummy korean food and they were playing ftts :)
so all in all, a great day of fresh air, good company and crazy laughter ♥ i wish i could just forget alll my work and troubles and just live every day like this. ha. ok better get back to typing up my stupid socialpsych skit now! talk about crashing back into reality. haha.
stop talking (so much).
Friday, February 02, 2007
i just want to close my eyes, and dream up a better place person to be.