so sick and tired at this lingering feeling of tiredness that wont go away.

just want to lie down for a really long time on my bed, staring at the ceiling, drifting in and out of sleep, and mulling over things, getting everything in order in my head.

WHY oh WHY (pun intended) am i majoring in psych. this thought can't stop running through my brain every time i study for health psych. this stupid module has done nothing but make me feel unintelligent and like i can't grasp and apply the concepts, dislike psych and all it's bullshitting studies and theories, and feel immensely tired that beyond all the theories i need to know lie endless journals with endless studies done with sometimes barely significant results but yet are important because EVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE RESEARCH COSTS MONEY AND SO THEY MUST(!) CONCLUDE SOMETHING FROM IT.

ok am clearly bitter here. haha. this is so ridiculous. am feeling the intense dislike i felt for history and lit last time. considering i dropped one and pretty much gave up on the other, i am greatly worried. am wondering if i should switch major to english and end my torture. but it's so damn risky at this point! and i'd totally kill myself if i end up hating english too. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

this 8 day break in exams is pure torture. especially when i don't know how the hell to study for that exam. or rather, i can't bring myself to read that awful text especially when i know that it won't even secure me a good grade. ok this brings me to another rant. SERIOUSLY HATE THIS HEALTH PSYCH MODULE and how it's structured. the lecturer like doggedly believes in no spoonfeeding. to the extent that his damn lecture notes are like seriously blank and you have to find all the journal articles by yourself and mind you! he cites literally one article per slide. and! his bloody lectures dont even follow the text. in fact, though they cover generally the same concepts, they seem (to me at least) to be taking entirely different approaches to it. give me a bloody headache man. grrrr.

OK have to stop talking about this, gets me irritated. all i want to do is sleep and get this exam thing OVER AND DONE WITH ARGH!

is the person who committed the first mistake the most wrong?
or is it the person who committed the mistake the longest;
or the person who commited the most mistakes;
or the person who committed the final mistake?

just wondered. but hmm wrong is wrong aye.

kinda like matchbox twenty's new song!

ok. someone please give me an award for wasting time.

while she was dillydallying in the supermarket
me: move your ass von!
sister literally starts SHAKING HER ASS hahahaha

i miss alaska. the mountains. the weather. the being away. who i was there. who we all were there. the smiles. the laughter. waking up with purpose (yes, cleaning 16 rooms on time was purpose).


we look so different. so (ridiculously) much younger. so excited at the beginning of our great "coming of age" journey. haha. i miss rooming with you pardner! :(

not really a fan of fergie but this is a pretty cool watch!

argh. ARGH ARGH ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i have a headache :(

i want to wake up but sleep.

want everyone to go away but stay.

oh btw, The Pillowman was seriously good!

i think i have the tendency/ability to ignore unpleasant/complicated things.

but they keep chalking up at the back of my mind. and i'm worried that soon, they'll start spilling over into the forefront. and i dont know if i can handle it then. :x

have absolutely no idea why i am majoring in psych. have lost interest. lost patience. lost confidence.

i absolutely detest research in psychology. every part of it. from thinking of the research question (practically everything worth doing has been done). to conducting the experiment. AND ESPECIALLY the freaking writing up of the report. seriously. why am i majoring in psych someone tell me?!?!

totally adorable song.

movie was surpisingly good and i liked it, save for the ending which was huh. question mark. wtf?!

in the next week, i have to prepare for a test, a presentation, 2 projects and finish a lab report. all of which i have barely touched. but all i feel like doing is sleeping. sleepy sleepy sleepy! :( haha i realised, yesterday, when i turned on my laptop and opened microsoft word that it's been so long since i've written something academic. almost felt at a loss at how to start. :x

oh oh! but this beautiful, wonderful COMPLETELY LOVELY email greeted me this morning :)

"Hi, Next Thursday is a holiday. For those whose tutorial falls on Thursday, there will be no tutorial session. No make-up session will be offered either. Therefore, if possible, you should try to attend other session (not compulsory).
Best, MT "

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

ok why on earth does that make me so happy. dont know but :):):) whee!

hahaha.

REFERENCES (as insisted by miss huang)
¹Huang, J. T. (2007) Conversation with ewnice. Msn messenger. Retrieved on Nov 3, 2007.