week one of exams have passed. one more week to go! i hate, but am thankful, that it is so long drawn out. i've wondered, why exams serve to torture us so. but really, the feeling of finishing exams is FREAKING AWESOME.

random. i wonder if it is an idiosyncrasy of mine but i'm often torn between wanting to share something awesome with the world and wanting them to like it, and really really hating it when the entire world loves it.

at this time of the term, it really sucks to be an nus student. argh at all these happy exam-free people. i really loathe studying. i don't ever remember finding it such a pain in the ass in the past but now it actually hurts to sit at the table and just do work. it takes everything in me to sit and focus. i even have to move to the table outside because i can't stop myself from turning on the laptop in front of me and doing mindless surfing or watching shows (oh the addiction i have for shows). i havent been out of the house in a week i think. i'm starting to get headaches, from the lack of fresh air, the heat, the "studying", the too many hours in front of the laptop, the bouts of guilt i get for not studying. i just want the exams to come and bomb in my face and then be over. have i mentioned i hate exams??

everything with me seems to end in a tragic culmination of Lack Of Effort. sometimes i get lucky, sometimes not. yet i remain in my state of inertia. sometimes i think i lack affect, yet sometimes it feels like i've overdose of affect. ultimately i think i do not care enough. will i continue in my states of Just Getting By?

went to catch detroit metal city today. i say perfect remedy for cramps. was laughing so hard that i temporarily forgot to perceive my pain. the acting is definitely exaggerated, but i think the japanese get away with that and it does add to the hilariousness of it all.

anyway, now i have my first and only japanese actor crush in the form of Matsuyama Ken'ichi. it's hard to believe that the two people up there are the same people and even harder to believe that minus the scary makeup and really horrible hairdo lies this gorgeous person:



haha though better known with a bit of makeup back on -

as L from death note. personally i think he looks best as L haha whom i've always had a crush on. but now i know this guy has range. you cannot believe how different he is in DMC. in fact, if i hadn't known beforehand, i probably wouldn't have linked the two.

anyway, wow what a completely frivolous post for a time as such when i am drowning in readings. thanks alot a certain TSH for not bothering to draw out relevant points for us (unlike an awesome AS) and instead throwing us stacks of readings so that we may, ourselves, pick out what is relevant. true, we should be expected to do that. but how hard is it to pick out what is relevant, when one has no clue what "relevant" is?

it seems that i've lapsed into a two day work week of late.

a typical week -
monday: 2hrs of productivity in emotions lecture
tuesday: killer 12 hour day
wednesday: completely tired out from above killer day; laze around the entire day in a justified manner
thursday: plan to do work but usually end up doing something else
friday: intend to go for lecture/tutorials but lose resolve
saturday: it's the weekend! hence feel justified in slacking once again
sunday: school the next day. too depressed to do any work

yes it is disgusting.

anyway, my wonderful plans of slacking in summer school have come crashing down as i realise that they mean Serious Intensive Business there. i have to take three modules. each module has 2hr classes EVERY DAY from monday to thursday. that makes a four day week of 6 hrs a day!!! ok fine i realise it's summer school so everything is packed like tuna fish but seriously man.

anyway, in light of that, i have given up my plan of Doing Whatever Seems Interesting (and not caring about mapping modules). because for all this hard work, i'm definitely going to try and map my modules over. so i shall be taking two business mods (accounting and marketing eeks!) and a psych one. though i am contemplating dropping the psych one to do another business one since i dont really need anymore psychs. then i'd only be left with 7 modules for the next two semesters!! 3-4 semesters!! sounds heavenly to me. but first i need to contact a certain birthstone to find out if this is feasible. not to mention, the status of my freaking ntu modules which have still not been mapped over and it's been almost a year!!!

it annoys me so much that shows that have a plotline actually going somewhere like dirty, sexy, money and lipstick jungle can get cancelled while shows like heroes, lost, gossip girl etc can go on and on and on in their riduculous plot convulations. :(

and while i rant at tv shows, might i also say that i HATE lousy finales!!