What do I do? I think I've the biggest crush on you. But you're forbidden beyond forbidden.
Ordinarily, I hate lyric posts, but..
I know you've been hurt by someone else
I can tell by the way you carry yourself
If you let me, here's what I'll do
I'll take care of you
I've loved and I've lost
One time, been in love one time
You and all your girls in the club one time
All so convinced that you're following your heart
Cause your mind don't control what it does sometimes
We all have our nights though, don't be so ashamed
I've had mine, you've had yours, we both know
We know you hate being alone
You ain't the only one
You hate the fact that you bought the dream
And they sold you one
You love your friends but somebody shoulda told you something to save you
I want to live in this inebriated haze where I feel I can do anything and get through anything. Could I?
I should get back to blogging.
I used to walk myself through my own life. I knew what was happening. I knew who I was. But I've ignored my thoughts. Let them go the moment they formed. If you don't think about it, it doesn't matter yea?
My fear of mistakes. Does it mean I've made less mistakes than I could have? Perhaps. But I've spent probably an equal amount of time worrying, fretting, stopping myself, than I would have regretting and bearing the consequences of a mistake.
Life. It is so short, and so very long at the same time. Especially when you don't know where you're going, and worse, don't know where you are trying to go.
I'm sensitive. That is an understatement. Getting something wrong feels like a punch to the gut. If people show even the slightest indication that they dislike or despise me, I feel a slap on the face.
The idea of disappointing someone or failing freaks me out so much. I don't dare put myself in a competitive situation and I thrive the best in a simple environment.
But is that so bad? Aren't I beyond that point in my life where I try to fit in. Isn't it time to find the place that fits me instead?
And that brings me to my biggest problem. My self-judgement. Why can't I let me be me? Why can't I do something without judging myself? Why can't I be a fucked up person and not care? Everyone has flaws. Why do I loathe myself so much when it comes to my own?