making mountains out of molehills.

Reminiscing is the most bittersweet illusion.

2012-02-12T21:28:00.003+08:00

On a separate note, 2012 has been most difficult to settle in to.

Well difficult is a bit of an overstatement. It was "difficult" because I was so busy not being here.

New Year's Eve was depressing but wonderful. Surrounded by equal numbers of strangers and friends, but also by you. Ending and starting the year drunk. I hate and love being drunk. I don't know how to make it good for me but I can't let it go either.

Then I was away in Seoul. It was almost great. I love Seoul. Always have, probably always will. There is always something to do, to look at, to eat, to drink, to buy. I love my m2 girls and it was lovely to reunite. But traveling in a group always somehow results in so much compromise and I realised that maybe I'm not that easy to travel with after all.

Coming back from that, it was terribly difficult to adjust back to work. I hate playing catch up. Ten thousand things always seem to happen while I'm away.

Then I had to leave again. It was the worst possible timing, and my conscience has been paying ever since.

But the one week was priceless and just what we needed.

So now, I just need to settle down. Strap on my seat belt for a while as I can't and shouldn't go anywhere.

"Maybe it's sad these are now memories. Maybe it's not sad."

It's almost a quarter of a century.

2012-02-12T21:18:00.003+08:00

In a dark dark place now because things swept under the rug were pulled out and waved in the air tearfully only to be swept right back under that rug. I found that a soft spot is akin to a blind spot and perhaps I'd been blaming the wrong person the whole time. I'd never heard it put that way and I guess I never realised what you went through all those years. Now I feel like a foolish immature girl for blaming and resenting you. You deserve all the happiness you have now.

Meanwhile, I will get my life together somehow. It'll be hard. And it would be so much easier just to do what I've been doing (which is absolutely nothing useful), but I refuse to let myself become someone who only has regrets to look back on.

Sidenote.

2011-12-07T00:35:00.004+08:00

Ever work so hard to get to a point, and then get there, and not know what the hell to do?

I'm getting all these things I always wanted before. But what do I do with them??

Sidenote, I miss another country. Any one.

A cry for attention and the crap it gets.

2011-11-10T23:36:00.003+08:00

Am I looking for what I want out there? Or somewhere back here?

Help me. Oh help me get out of this funk :(

Judgemental?

2011-10-22T16:00:00.001+08:00

1. Nothing
2. Intrusive
3. Whiny
4. Forbidden

And this is why I will never be happy. That and the fact that my stomach is growing a child of it's own.

2011-09-20T23:48:00.001+08:00

You blow my mind man. My heart keeps taking punches. There is no one in this world that I care more and less about.

And as always, it is merely all in my head.

2011-09-18T14:45:00.002+08:00

Hahaha I don't get this at all. Did I take something? Am I giving off something? Why suddenly?!

I'm so tired of juggling these meaningless balls. But I'm too insecure to let them fall to the ground.

I would let them all fall for you though.

i Kid you not.

2011-08-10T22:56:00.004+08:00

People keep making me smile recently. I don't know what to do but it's crazy.

August is looking to be the best month! :)

I haven't been myself in the longest time.

2011-08-03T20:32:00.003+08:00

My dad thinks I've an alcohol problem. I'm starting to think so too.

How many times can you say to yourself "I'm not that kind of person" before you realise you are exactly that kind of person?

I don't know what I've been doing the past week. I've lapsed into the nonsense of last year but in a so much more irresponsible way. I tried to make myself feel better by doing something, and then something worse, and then something even worse and so on. I can't seem to stop this vicious cycle.

And the worst part is, I am unaffected.

2011-07-26T23:56:00.002+08:00

I feel so terribly driven by the instability of my emotions. Some days I can feel so content, so happy even with all that I have had. Grateful for all the moments. So happy just listening to an amazing song and feeling the wind in my face. Content. And then some days I can feel so unhappy. Like my life has absolutely no meaning. Like there is nothing to work towards at all.

So much so, when I'm so uncontrollably happy, I just want to slap myself. All I do is try and keep my emotions as close to baseline as possible and I can actually feel myself becoming numb to most things. I hardly ever let myself look forward to anything for fear of disappointment. I don't want to depend on the presence of anyone because I know nobody stays forever. I can't even allow myself to feel anger towards people because what's the point really? When I'm unhappy, all I do is tell myself I shouldn't be. But why on earth am I trying to strip myself of emotions I don't know.

I've been thinking of leaving here for so long. I feel so trapped in my daily routine of nothingness. I love all the people in my life I do but we've come to a point in our lives where we've got to choose our own paths. I see them all making a life here but I don't see it for myself.

So what am I waiting for?

2011-06-04T10:42:00.003+08:00

I fight so hard to protect your feelings and I really don't know why I do.

2011-03-29T21:39:00.001+08:00

I want to crumble in depression. In private.

I don't want to explain anything to anyone. Especially myself.

2011-01-20T00:55:00.006+08:00

Wish I lived in a love song. Maybe I'm a cynic, but feelings like these, they don't last more than the moments taken to write the song. How long can you sing and feel this?

(Still love this song though...)

2010-12-31T23:07:00.002+08:00

I feel so cheated by Twitter's incompetence at retaining my memories.

What better way to round up the year than revisit (and leave behind) 12 months worth of short blurbs reminding me of every tweet-worthy moment in 2010. But just like that, I lost 500 tweets. And I really really really wanted, no needed, to see tweets before April. April. It just had to start at April.

It's such a cliche to say this but 2010 has truly seen some of the highest and lowest moments in my life. I did and experienced a ton of things I never thought I would. Things I never thought I wanted to experience, and things I still wish I had never experienced.

Looking back, it has been freaking dramatic. There are so many things I regret. I've grown so much, but I also paid a really heavy price for that. And right now, I feel that I haven't grown enough and it was all, perhaps, in vain.

But I'm so ready to say goodbye to 2010. I know this whole "new year" thing is just an arbitrary marking in the grand scheme of things, something we have whoever created the calendar system to thank for. But we all need "new beginnings", so I'm thankful for this.

Here's to 2011. May I find that thing within me to become a better person.

Cheers.

2010-09-25T00:54:00.003+08:00

The thing about blogging. Once I start, I can't stop.

Also can't stop listening to 사랑은 아야야. And it makes me think of Seoul. In my relatively short 23 years on earth, I can name the changing points of my life. Hmmm like a collection of short stories. Each not necessarily linked, and each influenced by whoever I had around me.

But the only time in recent years I felt I was really who I actually am was when I was in Seoul. Cos that was the one true time I was alone. Granted, not literally alone, but still alone enough. In a foreign country, with no one who knew me before. I miss it so freaking bad. The fresh start, the walking the streets feeling so free and inconsequential.

2010-09-25T00:48:00.002+08:00

That horoscope from 30Jul, I feel like I should print/write it out, fold it up, put it in an envelope, seal it, and address it to "Future Eunice" HIMYM style.

2010-09-25T00:41:00.002+08:00

I feel like I don't want to talk anymore.

Work has been a surprisingly pleasant solace. Like a rehabilitation centre of sorts. Haha. Am really thankful and I wonder if I'll ever be able to return to a more corporate environment...

And if and when I finally meet you, I will tell you everything and you will make it ok. And that's how I will know.

2010-07-30T14:22:00.002+08:00

So lately I've gotten into the habit of checking my horoscope. And I really love today's one. Am blogging it because I want to remember it beyond today.

What if you had a time machine? As a sentimental Moonchild, you'd almost certainly travel backwards toward the past so that you could relive happy, tender moments around the people and places you love. But right now you would probably gain more by going forward. You wouldn't have to go far; maybe just ten years or so. That would give you a very good glimpse of some of the mistakes you are making now, and then you could go back and change the past. Since that's not possible, do some introspection instead. Why have you given up on a dream? It's not too late to reignite your passion.

2010-07-27T10:41:00.001+08:00

What one feels is more important that what one can say.

Problem is, I fail at verbalizing what I feel, and so you will never know.

2010-07-20T17:59:00.000+08:00

I'm turning 23 tomorrow and all I want is to rewind to 1 year ago when I, ironically, felt like I knew what I wanted in life a whole lot more.

hello e, nice to meet you again.

2010-06-18T12:46:00.003+08:00

it's a lovely friday. the weather is perfect for being the bum that i am. gorgeously chill music playing in both my ears.

so much has changed since the Turning Point. i feel great and i hope it stays. i feel like i am ready to take on the next stage in life. i feel like i want to indulge in who i am. i feel so relieved not having to compromise myself and feel self-loathe (or maybe just self-distaste). i feel bad, but it's only because i've always put a halo on you. i'm taking off that halo now, slowly but surely. it's sad of cos but i finally feel it's for the best.

so the bout of traveling was great. europe was great. spain stole my heart. rome was a crazyadventure. i will keep the memories forever. kl was good fun too, better than i expected, and that's the good thing about low expectations i guess haha. japan was good as always. i always adore the service, the ingenuity, and the food of the japanese. but somehow it never quite sweeps me off my feet. i like it but i don't feel excited about it. the whole time i was sadly missing korea. haha

so on the plane ride back from tokyo, it was the first time i'd sat alone. like in between two strangers - a japanese guy and a japanese girl. it felt strangely liberating. i knew i wasn't traveling alone (my aunt and sis were somewhere behind me) but it felt like it and it felt awesome, like i was on an adventure by myself of sorts. and i felt independent and liking it. love that both were foreigners too. so i was armed with my trusty neck pillow, a good whimsical japanese (translated) book, and a great selection of movies. i felt so un-anxious, so unlike the me who would freak out at not being at the aisle, being stuck between two strangers, not having an escape. anyhows, the movies. omg i LOVE catching great movies on the plane. it makes me feel like i achieved something. very retarded i know. and i love that ANA was showing these older movies that i'd been meaning to watch for a while.

The Bucket List was so amazing on so many levels. i loved the whole idea, the acting, the dialogue. by the end of the movie, tears were running down my face and i was trying so hard not to sob because the two strangers next to me would probably think i was some insane emotional wreck. the best part is that i was crying not because i was sad, but because i was touched. i need to get this on dvd, to watch and remind me whenever i forget that Life is a big picture.

followed that up with Intolerable Cruelty. it had great tone but i gave up after a few minutes because i wasn't quite in the mood for something like that and to be honest, i've never quite been charmed by george clooney. like i know he's good looking, but he does nothing for me. so Remember the Titans it was. being a disney production i knew it would probably be something made to instill some kind of feel-goodyness. and i'm a sucker for such movies. it was very in the vein of Freedom Writers, The Blind Side. the whole based on a true story, human spirit overcoming racial boundaries kind of thing. loved it all the same. and can i say, ryan gosling is freaking hell cute in there. and american football is so damn exciting. haha

managed to catch only half of Rain Man after that cos the plane was landing. but i really liked the half i saw and i really need to get down to watching the rest of it. really love the dialogue on it. that's what i kind of miss about old movies, the lots of good dialogue without all the other distractions.

so now back in singapore for good (for now ha ha). time to work on the future. i feel like a lost child with no ambition facing a world of opportunities and i'm so worried about the right fit, or choosing the wrong thing etcetc. i just want to be happy, do something i don't loathe, have some sort of purpose in my every day life, and earn enough money to not deprive my worldy desires. and i don't want to lose myself going through the motions and open my eyes 10 years later a different person not knowing how i got there.

2010-05-31T20:27:00.002+08:00

you know i never thought my life was depressing. when i was young i thought i lived a pretty awesome life. my dad was head pastor at church. my mum was very involved in school. my sis and i were close (tho we infamously fought quite a lot). we took family holidays. we were pretty much quite the picture perfect family. i have no idea when or how it went downhill. when we became the crazy family that always fought. how it spiraled into this.

in so many ways my life now could be depressing. i don't know if it's not so because it's really not that bad or simply because i don't think about it. i'm so good at not thinking about it. i can have the most depressing conversation in the world with my dad, and then i come back to my room, and enter the virtual world and suddenly everything doesn't seem so bad. really? or is it just because i've become so good at not thinking about things i don't want to?

i really don't know what to do now. i feel so trapped here. i love you all i really do. but can i do it from afar? i feel like i will be miserable here. but i feel so bad thinking of packing up and going far away to live my life. but when i brought it up, you didn't seem so against it. and i wondered if that's what you truly felt or just what you say because of your pride. your pride and ultimatums that i unfortunately inherited from you. i really don't know what to believe when you say such things. but to be honest, i felt relief. i felt relief that you were ok with letting me go. mixed with a tinge of sadness at the thought of leaving you. because i do love you :( but the more i think about it, the more i can't bear the thought of living here.

i may not be worldly wise, but i believe i am enlightened.

2010-05-07T13:52:00.004+08:00

when i was younger, i had this serious problem of getting majorly upset when things didn't go my way. when plans changed. i hated the feeling of anticipation that got swiftly and abruptly cut off because someone said so. i hated the feeling of lack of control of the situation and my feelings.

i've definitely changed over the years in many many ways. but this is something that still affects me, albeit probably to a lesser degree now that i've learnt that many things in life are out of your control.

perhaps i've learnt that too well. because now it seems my problem is that i don't exercise enough control over situations. my course of action is oft inaction. i'm so afraid of making mistakes, of being hated for my actions, of regretting doing something. after being on both sides of the receiving end, i can't help but feel like it's time that i exercise my right to be a true player in this game of life.

now, if i can just hold on to this conviction.

real world.

2010-02-28T20:32:00.003+08:00

i am feeling so sad right now.

i know i sometimes throw myself into the world of fiction too much, even when i was younger (i remember once being SO depressed because i'd been reading tons of american/british fiction and well in comparison living in singapore is just plain yuck). it's a common cycle for me, to immerse myself into a fictional world (reading books, watching tv series in straight periods) and then when there is no more material left for me to continue being in that "world" i go into (for lack of a better term) mild depression before i find a new "world". no doubt i feel pretty ridiculous about this on a certain level of consciousness but lately i feel myself just giving into it because there are so many better worlds out there to live through secondary experiences. (on the other hand, it does make the real world all the more depressing sometimes and i occasionally do feel the danger of my constant "escapes"..but that's a topic for another discussion).

today though, the end of a recent "world" i was in was especially painful. i'd just finished watching this really great korean drama (and i would just like to say how annoyed i am at the widespread popularization of korean pop culture, it just brings up tons of stereotypes about things i've liked wayy before this mania e.g. korean drama = dramatic auntie fare) called The Last Scandal of My Life. it was a really fun watch and i really liked the lead couple. i'd gone into the drama knowing that the lead actress had committed suicide not long after the drama finished airing in 2008. i'd seen the reports briefly when it happened but hadn't read in detail cos i didn't know who she was. so after watching the last episode (which ended really nicely and happily), i went to go read the reports (1, 2, 3) and i truly felt the strong juxtaposition of reel and real worlds.

the worst part is that it was suicide. to me, suicide is the most tragic thing. for a person to feel like death is better than life is just the worst thing ever. especially since she was a beautiful, successful woman who had friends who loved her and two young children. and the worst worst thing is how suicide impacts people. case in point, it was rumors that came out of the suicide of her good friend's husband that drove her to her own suicide. (korean netizens are a whole other topic than can be heavily discussed. as the world becomes more computerized, it's really worrying that online anonymity is giving rise to people who say things without thought of the consequences).

this song is written and sung by two of her good friends and oh my does it make me even sadder.

anyway, it's kinda weird how here i am feeling belatedly upset over this almost two years later. i've never even been that affected by celebrity deaths before. but still, somehow this whole issue really brought up a ton of feelings in me, perhaps because it touched on so many things that i feel strongly about.

hello again.

2010-02-17T00:40:00.003+08:00

have decided i should get back to blogging cos i feel like i've lost my ability to form thoughts coherently. many a times i would suddenly have thought-diarrhea (akin to verbal-diarrhea but in the head) and and feel a small sense of catharsis but because i didn't get it down i feel frustrated as the thoughts leave me. i've tried carrying around a book to write down my thoughts but writing it down is just too much of a pain not to mention i really hate my handwriting and the thought of someone picking up the book and just reading it. (blogging onto the web makes me feel more secure, ironically enough)

looking back at my blog posts, i also realise that i didn't blog at all about summer school or the last semester and it kind of annoys me that there's a gap in my log. well in brief(ish) summary -

summer school was awesome fun. living in seoul was a dream come true. tho there were times i wished i was back home, or that i felt lonely there, now all that remains are memories of a time that i would give anything to go back to. living at CJ house with juhee and shauna was like the kind of flatmate dream i'd always had. being independent but there for each other. i was really lucky to be put with them. one, because they are koreans and that just kind of completed the whole experience. but more importantly, because they were some of the nicest people i've ever known. meeting qianyi was another huge blessing. she was such a great seoul-mate to have because she was so fluent with the language it was a breeze getting everywhere. more importantly, she was so similar to me in terms of tastes and preferences that we could hang out with practically no compromises on either parts. i think i might have been truly miserable without her. studying at KU was such a refreshing break from NUS. the school grounds were beautiful, the people much better eye candy haha. also, i was so much happier NOT studying anything psych related. it was so fun not having to concern myself with abstract theories and instead focus on learning things that are applicable in the real world and i think that really reflected itself in my results. of cos, studying 4 days a week was bordering on torture, but ultimately i realised it's so much easier when it comes to exam time because everything is still fresh in your head. outside that, seoul is just a great place to be. from the shopping, to the music scene, to the food. this experience is probably the one thing i'm glad i achieved in 2009.

as for last semester at NUS. it was the first time i literally had no one to go for classes with for every single module. it was horrifying. daunting. terrifying. hahaha and i'm not even joking. not to mention my timetable consisted solely of level 4000 psych seminars. fortunately, i met with really great groupmates and made some new friends. being alone really forces you to be more sociable and i guess i needed that or i would never be bothered to get to know the other people in psych. thankfully, level 4000 modules also somehow turned out to be less horrible than level 3000s. i guess it's less theory, more application. at least for the modules i chose. i also got to visit changi prison which was quite the eyeopener and i am vaguely considering a career at singapore prisons.... all in all, it was a pretty enjoyable semester tho i didn't do thaaaat fantastically haha.

last sem was also the first time i had a 2day week (mwahahaha). it was liberating but also v dangerous because i don't really know what i did with the other 5 days of the week. specially since i wasn't working either. till now, i have no clue what i was doing.. i did manage to take a short 5 day trip to hanoi with d. that was some hugeeeeeeeeeeee eyeopener. the heat and the dirt made me really angsty but looking back it was a pretty fun experience. the streets were so fascinating and the food really grew on me (phooooo ♥).

the last dec holidays saw a trip down to hong kong with d and v. sadly, i didn't enjoy it as much as the first time i went. somehow it was crazily crowded and generally quite frustrating. the shopping was so expensive (esp since a lot is imported from korea at crazy jacked up prices!!) and unsatisfying, and i only ate toast once!!! disneyland was another sad disappointment. the trip to cheung chau island was a little highlight tho. a break from the busy city, with the lovely weather, calmed us down a bit just in time to go home :)

came back for the seoul'd out concert with lm. omg kpop is so popular in singapore now it's annoying!! i mean it's a double-edged sword. more popular = more acts come here but also = crazy crazy queues and fighting with fangirls! nonetheless, ft island was awesome "live" and so was seeing abracadabra "live". all in all, worth the crazy queue. tho we were so annoyed that they didn't check our tickets.

the nunes and nairs came down in december as well at that was awesomeeeeeeee. i miss my cousins so much and it's great that we are seeing them more regularly now. yay for air travel!! plus we have jiffy for two years now that he has to do his NS hurhur.

it was also back to work for a bit. found out that jeff was working there too which was pretty cool! one more friend in the office is always a good thing haha.

2010 arrived. just like that and i'm now months away from graduation!!! i've only three modules this sem, ridiculously slack altho it really doesn't feel that way. personnel selection is so crazily like a business module what with the weekly group assignments and presentations. tho i have to say i do like this class quite a lot..for now. comms is interesting but oh so competitive! not to mention i have to clock in 800mins of video coding in the next two weeks o.m.g. i'm just glad that i have jo and fi and seef in this class so i don't feel like i'm drowning alone. evolutionary psych has been surprisingly fun, esp since i fully expected penney to be a slave-driver. but somehow he's much more chill in this class and so far this module has been fun and light discussions with very readable readings. in general, it seems like a pretty pleasant way to end my time at nus! it feels so weird saying this..

this is also the year that i feel like an old person. i am turning 23 soon and it's not cool at all! 21 was the year of celebration. i didn't quite feel the 22 because i was away from home. but now bam suddenly it's 23. esp since a bunch of people around me are turning 21. DAMN these young people!

ok wow this has become a really long post. on a random note, my arm really hurts from playing wii tennis for 3 days in a row. it's so therapeutic hearing the sound of the virtual ball on the virtual racquet. this has also been greatly therapeutic.

not happy.

2009-09-25T00:25:00.002+08:00

I HATE HATE HATE SCHOOL.

i don't know what it is that i hate. sure i hate the readings, i hate the papers, i hate the exams. but i'm sure there is something deeper that i hate that is causing this almost physical pain.

if i hadn't already wasted 3 years of my life and if i had more guts, i would just quit school and find what it is i really want to do that would make me happy.

if you knew my secrets.

2009-06-11T22:48:00.002+08:00

a week ago, i raved that i would "never get sick of japanese food". right now, i am so glad it's korea not japan i am going to. hahaha somehow i've had japanese food every single day! it's like the stars aligned to challenge my stupid statement.

anyway, today was (finally) my last day at work! i can't believe it's been a month (and a week, in fact). i will miss my colleagues who have been a whole lot more fun this time round haha. it almost feels like a family - literally.

anyway, i need to rave.

chuck: one of the best mixes of action, romance and comedy out there. great characters (right down to the smallest of roles), great lines, great acting. 100% recommend! i am experiencing withdrawal :(

veronica mars (haha this photo is quite irrelevant but i love it): i realise this show is actually pretty old, came out in 2004/2005. took me a while to finally get down to watching it. it reminds me of 90210 but less high school drama, more good old mysteries. plus kristen bell and jason dohring are amazing in their roles and have the best lines. well season one was great, i'm not so sure about season two because of the return of the dead (not literally) boring boyfriend...

ok brain dead. blog more soon :D

watercooler talk.

2009-05-30T19:06:00.004+08:00

work has been funfun with yongernn (previously known as The Intern), and huisze (as always). plus liming has started her internship nearby. too bad next week is my last! i seriously worry that this might be the best job i'll ever have. in terms of colleagues, bosses, work envirnonment etc...

btw, tanjong pagar is a food haven. outside the numerous famous hawker centres and restuarants, please check out the delish muffins from either bake_of at amoy street food centre or chocolate and spices at tangjong pagar plaza. and my latest obsession - salmon and egg sandwiches. simply sandwich and the sandwich shop are THE places to go for this. especially loving the smoked salmon and egg sandwich at the sandwich shop. haha these are my sage words of food advice for whoever is to be working there in the future.

caught 1) angels and demons last weekend - no where near as good as the book but i loved the parachute scene towards the end 2) night at the museum 2 last night - super fun movie to watch, loved the three cherubs (whom i found out were voiced by the jonas brothers! pleasant shock i suppose) and the einsteins!

just finished my third book, yet another agatha christie one, cards on the table. trying to decide if i should continue with the murder mysteries or take a break from them haha.

id(o)le.

2009-05-21T20:07:00.002+08:00

The search for an idol has ended with Kris Allen. Yet another sign that American Idol is complete crap. I know I talk about the show a lot, but I really only started watching after happening to see Adam Lambert sing If I Can’t Have You and just being in awe of his voice. So basically I continued because I wanted to see him be crowned American Idol, the first real idol after the slew of less than idol-like ‘idols’ – Ruben Studdard, Fantasia Barrino, Taylor Hicks, Jordin Sparks - who are really nothing without their ‘idol’ title and have (or will) all disappear into obscurity just a few years after winning.

That said, after watching the finale performance yesterday, and listening to the mother awful “winning” song that the winner gets to release as his first single, I was seriously hoping that Lambert wouldn’t win. It is a complete disaster of a song, and if it tops any charts, then well, we can safely say that America has no taste – in singers or songs. Ok Kris really isn’t that bad, he just isn’t that good. And next to Lambert, he is just plain embarrassing. Why would anyone want to listen to Kris Allen when there are better versions of him out there?

So Kris Allen, you can be “American Idol”, while Lambert can be an “iconic” “worldwide star” who doesn’t have to sing about metaphorical hurricanes and mountains.

an interpretation of murder.

2009-05-20T19:30:00.004+08:00

It is not often you stumble upon a book that is quite completely written for you. An Interpretation of Murder is all my kinds of books rolled into one. Murder, mystery, psychology (yes I do like reading about psychology when it is written in an English that I understand) and a tiny bit of romance, all set in 20^th century America (I like history in a trivia kind of way).

I love it because 1) it is well-written, 2) it puts Freud and psychoanalysis in perspective, 3) it has a pretty good twist . I am super excited about this book because beyond being a great read, it really changed my way of thinking about Freud, who I really used to just dismiss as a crazy guy with the most sexed up ideas. Now I guess I kind of realise why he is always included in psychology books.

And so that concludes book one of my summer reading list! Hahah I just reminded myself of those book reviews we always had to do in primary school during the holidays. Next book is yet another murder mystery set in the 20^th century (in fact I am almost nearly getting a bit confused) - Clocks. While on the topic though (Clocks is written by her), I must say that Agatha Christie never disappoints! She is someone I’m really in awe of. How she conjures such fantastic plots, and writes in a manner that lets you just devour her books, sometimes in one shot. What is even more amazing is that she wrote for over 50 years. Her last book was written when she was freaking over 80 years old. Well I haven’t read that last book, so I can’t say for sure, but how on earth does one’s brain remain so lucid to write a mystery at 80. Hahaha am I underestimating the elderly :x Ok anyway, I seem to have completely gone off a tangent here.

Second week of work. I am so freaking tired!! It’s more fun now with the new intern, also from NUS, though. So for that I am grateful. I can’t wait for my break! Totally not looking forward to next job – selling mattresses.

Oh p.s. Chuck is a pretty damn good watch! Good comic timing and pretty exciting spy plots! Kind of like how I met your mother (the comic part) meets prison break (all the chasing and life-threatening parts).

P.p.s. Wrote this at work hence all the capitalization.

goodbye scofield, burrows, mahone, and sucre.

2009-05-17T01:12:00.010+08:00

so prison break has come to an end.

out of all the american tv shows out there, i think this might have been the least disappointing for me. it didn't sell out completely after becoming popular, extending the story in ridiculous (lost, heroes) and unsatisfyingly stale manners (desperate housewives, gossip girl), it didn't get cancelled in the middle of nowhere (dirty, sexy, money, lipstick jungle), and it didn't have a completely dumb finale (the l word).

of course it had its fair share of ridiculous plot turns and it was tiring watching them run and run and run and always be thwarted at the end of each season. but i think it succeeded in that it had a great cast of characters and each season delivered the clever escapes that made it popular in the first place. importantly it knew when and how to end.

which brings me to the finale, omg it was so sad but i thought it was a FANTASTIC ending. it felt really well wrapped up and poignant and not lame and i'm glad they tied up all ends properly. so goodbye to an overall very well done series, i shall miss you much! in fact i feel like rewatching season 1. haha

now on to the real world. amazingly, it has only been one week since exams ended! was knocked out by a horrible virus (not H1N1) in the one week break between my exams. but thankfully, the exams that followed didn't really require studying, or rather it wouldn't have helped. TSH threw a paper that was completely unrelated to her entire semester of (questionable) teaching, not to mention i was armed with her (redundant) readings. all i remember of the new media paper that followed was an annoying phone that kept ringing, mcq questions that toyed with my brain (is it A, A and B, A and B and C, or none of the above), and being way too tired to write the two news stories. as for math, horrendous morning traffic resulted in my being 10minutes late (and horribly frazzled) for my paper. the night before i had stayed up way too late to work on a cheatsheet that would be useless as the lecturer so very kindly provided formulas to use in each of his questions. there was no where near enough time, and i honestly don't know how i did. plus the fact that he never returned us our test papers, this module is like all the gambling that we learnt in it.

in the past week, all i've managed to do is watch season 4 of prison break and make a dent in the first book of my summer reading list - an interpretation of murder (which, by the way, i strongly reccommend especially to my fellow psychologists because freud is one of the main characters haha). perhaps i shall write about it after i'm done with it. somehow, instead of two days at work i ended up having a full week of work which was horribly tiring. i shan't complain though because more hours more money which i'm trying to amass to cover my living expenses in korea. speaking of which, i am getting more excited about. i just need a break from singaporeeeee. pronto.

the next month shall be - 1) work, work, work. whatever kind of work i can get my hands on. 2) cherishing no-school-ness. oh how i love guiltlessly reading what i want to, watching all i want to, sleeping all i want to (ok not really happening but), just not having to think about my grades which ironically brings me to 3) exam results on the 29th of may ahhhhhhh. 4) hopefully a little more shopping, catching a movie soon, lunch date fi and shiwen! and picnic? and frying that egg! hahah

p.s. adam lambert is freaking amazing, he NEEDS to win american idol. kris allen is so...mediocre how dare they compare him to jason mraz.

p.p.s. it appears i have not said this enough, but i love g dragon :D hahaha

bitten by a lovebug.

2009-04-30T01:29:00.002+08:00

week one of exams have passed. one more week to go! i hate, but am thankful, that it is so long drawn out. i've wondered, why exams serve to torture us so. but really, the feeling of finishing exams is FREAKING AWESOME.

random. i wonder if it is an idiosyncrasy of mine but i'm often torn between wanting to share something awesome with the world and wanting them to like it, and really really hating it when the entire world loves it.

I WANT TO VEG OUT.

2009-04-24T01:20:00.003+08:00

at this time of the term, it really sucks to be an nus student. argh at all these happy exam-free people. i really loathe studying. i don't ever remember finding it such a pain in the ass in the past but now it actually hurts to sit at the table and just do work. it takes everything in me to sit and focus. i even have to move to the table outside because i can't stop myself from turning on the laptop in front of me and doing mindless surfing or watching shows (oh the addiction i have for shows). i havent been out of the house in a week i think. i'm starting to get headaches, from the lack of fresh air, the heat, the "studying", the too many hours in front of the laptop, the bouts of guilt i get for not studying. i just want the exams to come and bomb in my face and then be over. have i mentioned i hate exams??

dip musings.

2009-04-21T01:12:00.004+08:00

everything with me seems to end in a tragic culmination of Lack Of Effort. sometimes i get lucky, sometimes not. yet i remain in my state of inertia. sometimes i think i lack affect, yet sometimes it feels like i've overdose of affect. ultimately i think i do not care enough. will i continue in my states of Just Getting By?

go to dmc.

2009-04-09T00:04:00.005+08:00

went to catch detroit metal city today. i say perfect remedy for cramps. was laughing so hard that i temporarily forgot to perceive my pain. the acting is definitely exaggerated, but i think the japanese get away with that and it does add to the hilariousness of it all.

anyway, now i have my first and only japanese actor crush in the form of Matsuyama Ken'ichi. it's hard to believe that the two people up there are the same people and even harder to believe that minus the scary makeup and really horrible hairdo lies this gorgeous person:

haha though better known with a bit of makeup back on -

as L from death note. personally i think he looks best as L haha whom i've always had a crush on. but now i know this guy has range. you cannot believe how different he is in DMC. in fact, if i hadn't known beforehand, i probably wouldn't have linked the two.

anyway, wow what a completely frivolous post for a time as such when i am drowning in readings. thanks alot a certain TSH for not bothering to draw out relevant points for us (unlike an awesome AS) and instead throwing us stacks of readings so that we may, ourselves, pick out what is relevant. true, we should be expected to do that. but how hard is it to pick out what is relevant, when one has no clue what "relevant" is?

the effort of doing nothing.

2009-04-04T14:29:00.002+08:00

it seems that i've lapsed into a two day work week of late.

a typical week -
monday: 2hrs of productivity in emotions lecture
tuesday: killer 12 hour day
wednesday: completely tired out from above killer day; laze around the entire day in a justified manner
thursday: plan to do work but usually end up doing something else
friday: intend to go for lecture/tutorials but lose resolve
saturday: it's the weekend! hence feel justified in slacking once again
sunday: school the next day. too depressed to do any work

yes it is disgusting.

anyway, my wonderful plans of slacking in summer school have come crashing down as i realise that they mean Serious Intensive Business there. i have to take three modules. each module has 2hr classes EVERY DAY from monday to thursday. that makes a four day week of 6 hrs a day!!! ok fine i realise it's summer school so everything is packed like tuna fish but seriously man.

anyway, in light of that, i have given up my plan of Doing Whatever Seems Interesting (and not caring about mapping modules). because for all this hard work, i'm definitely going to try and map my modules over. so i shall be taking two business mods (accounting and marketing eeks!) and a psych one. though i am contemplating dropping the psych one to do another business one since i dont really need anymore psychs. then i'd only be left with 7 modules for the next two semesters!! 3-4 semesters!! sounds heavenly to me. but first i need to contact a certain birthstone to find out if this is feasible. not to mention, the status of my freaking ntu modules which have still not been mapped over and it's been almost a year!!!

it's april's fool!

2009-04-01T01:28:00.005+08:00

it annoys me so much that shows that have a plotline actually going somewhere like dirty, sexy, money and lipstick jungle can get cancelled while shows like heroes, lost, gossip girl etc can go on and on and on in their riduculous plot convulations. :(

and while i rant at tv shows, might i also say that i HATE lousy finales!!

inside the fickle mind.

2009-03-06T16:38:00.004+08:00

was looking through previous entries and i've to say that

1. i am no longer a fan of boys over flowers (korean f4 series) because of its horrendous choice of female lead not to mention, criminal depiction of a supposedly intelligent, strong, and fiesty girl as a completely stupid, weak and all round unappealing girl.

2. i no longer like my modules. i particularly laugh at the fact that i said that "new media is another module that i really like" HAHAHA. oh. my. g. ok the rest of the modules arent as bad. except atypical just for it's vagueness, and emotions for all the brain parts. maths and social work are kinda off my radar for now (not a good sign)

3. i will be studying for one more year. only because i'm going away for summer school. fantastic reason i know. but the decision had to be made and i'm kinda glad it has been made for me.

4. i can't wait to be in korea. but i am most definitely not looking forward to the process of getting there (which is still unclear) or the fact that i will be studying nonstop from june onwards or the fact that i shall be friendless. i mean of course the purpose of such a program is to make friends, but i mean REALfriend-less. time to be independent eunice goh.

5. caught suspect x. was a bit too long for me but overall, i loved it. superb superb twist. and the thing about the suicide was particularly heartbreaking.

6. i need to do something with my hair.

the comedy is that it's serious.

2009-03-06T02:19:00.009+08:00

(http://www.flickr.com/photos/akbarsyah/3331240106/in/photostream/)

to be honest, i'd been no where near as excited about the jason mraz concert this time round. for one, his music had fallen out of top spot for me ever since his mass popularity over that one song "i'm yours" that subsequently got so ridiculously overplayed on the radio. and i really didn't enjoy his third album - his voice still awesome but the songs..not so. also, there was another small distraction called BIG BANG.

but the moment he came out onto the stage tonight, the mraz fan in me was revived. haha. there are some people who are born to be on the stage, and he is definitely one. his voice was perfect the entire concert, as was his guitar playing and his moves (his oh so cute moves). not to mention he plays the crowd perfectly. speaking of the crowd, it was a totally awesome one. people screaming and singing along and dancing. i'd never seen a crowd like that (granted i'm not a frequent concert-goer). and it was packed too. there's nothing like singing along to your favorite songs (you and i, remedy, SLEEPING TO DREAM, unfold) with a whole hall full of crazy fans and the singer right in front of you.

so, this time round, bigger band, better crowd, more hyper mraz, way better stage and lighting. and i loved his song about his invisible gum. my only laments: he didn't sing wordplay!!, i am clearly no longer a no. 1 fan - not being able to recognise alot of songs till he was a few lines in, and all those songs from his third album. i think overall the esplanade concert was better in that it had a better set and better sound. hahah nonetheless, i conclude that a jason mraz concert is something i'll go for no matter how much i fall out of his fandom. because he is awesome, in a completely, well maybe not completely, unbiased and objective way. i mean his concert sold out in a day (or three? different sources, different facts :x).

anyway, i decided not to bring my camera in cos i didnt want to get hassled by ushers etc. so here i am leeching off others. WATCH THESE.

don't particularly like this song but i loved the guitar and the dance. and i loved that he started with this. way to get the mood up up up!

you and i is always a hit, but i died when he belted out "cos i'm dreaming of sleeping next to you like a lost little boy in a brand new town..." right out of nowhere :D

and this one. the guitar and the SAX and his voice. was possibly my favourite song of the set.

the start of this kills. his voice here is really soothing here.

(Warning: shakier videographer) i love this song. how therapeutic is it to scream "I WONT WORRY MY LIFE AWAY"?? i felt a little bit like i was in one of those cult(?) inspirational things midway though haha. love the bit of oasis.

now, if only i could see this other musical genius, and my life (for now) will be complete!!

let the right one in.

2009-02-21T00:54:00.003+08:00

have just watched another 2 movies :| hahah am a bit apalled at my movie watching this week. but i seriously need to blog about this.

ok first - valkyrie. well-made movie. too bad we all knew what was going to happen, that hitler was not going to be killed. nonetheless, i still felt like it was a pretty exciting movie, once you get over the confusion as to who is who and trying to do what. just one gripe, that carice van houten was severely underused in the movie!! it's like her sole purpose was to kiss tom cruise, which is really such a waste. i can't help but draw comparisons with the other WWII film black book, and say that this really doesnt quite measure up.

ok so moving on to the main point of my post, let the right one in. it's a swedish vampire movie. not something i would usually go for, but the trailer for this was really captivating. anyway, i 100% reccommend this. it's hauntingly sweet, yet at the same time subtly grotesque that actually serves to make it more chilling. outside the plot, the (i thought) well use of sound effects and background music, and the general artistic direction, the thing that really makes the movie stand out is the two lead (child) actors, an acting debut for both of them. i love their natural interaction and how they each portray the characters so wonderfully. i want to read the book now!! and once again, i can't help but draw comparisons with the other oh-so-famous vampire film - twilight. and this time, my dissatisfaction with twilight was affirmed by this movie. LTROI is how a vampire movie should be like. and this is how the interaction should be like, not like the totally awkward onscreen interaction and development of the relationship between the two leads in twilight. hence my horror at finding out that LTROI is to be remade in hollywood. nooooooooooooooooooo.

can't help feeling this growing distaste for hollywood films. it's always the same old formulas, and someone should really ban them from remaking any more films. if the original was good, you don't mess with it. i hate shitty remakes or covers (for songs), especially when they end up overshadowing the (better) originals.

movie day.

2009-02-19T14:13:00.004+08:00

went to catch slumdog millionare and new in town yesterday. (serious movie marathon, both movies in the exact same cinema hall, in the exact same seats hahah). really enjoyed slumdog! was worried that it would fail to hit expectations because of all the hype about it but it was really quite enjoyable.

i think what makes an enjoyable movie for me is 1. gorgeous visuals (some of the scenes were so beautiful! especially loved the mass sari washing scene), 2. good (or at least plausible) acting and casting, 3. a plot where you don't know what is going to happen next (not so much original, but at the very least not predictable). oh standout soundtrack is a very big plus point! i think slumdog managed to hit all four :) so i would say, please watch it! and little jamal is too adorable (see above picture)

new in town on the other hand wasn't painful to watch but failed to hit all four and just left me feeling blah. i literally knew what was going to happen next, sometimes even the lines that were going to be said. and the leads werent bad but definitely weren't fantastic in any way. visuals? hmm there was alot of snow. haha and i dont remember a single song from the movie. but nonetheless, it's a decent rom-com to watch, especially given the standard of rom-coms these days.

i really really want to watch let the right one in and suspect x! but what i really should be watching is my webcasts zzzzzzzz.

speaking of which, i've come to totally love my timetable. ever since my math lecturer (really, someone should bestow him the most kind teacher award) made all lectures webcast, i've been having 3 day weeks, something i've never had in my 3 years in uni so WOOHOO!

i shall refrain from blogging about my latest korean obsession (yet another older woman-younger guy couple) for now, just because i don't want to turn this into an area just for my silly obsessions and also because i want to find a better picture (HAHA).

in other news, i might be going to korea for summer!!!! :D hmm shall elaborate when i decide.

what's niu.

2009-01-28T00:13:00.004+08:00

what i hate most about CNY: lion dances. yes, even more than awkward family gatherings. which inconsiderate person has a lion dance performance in a housing estate at freaking 9 am on a public holiday?!?!? wtf man. if i were non-chinese, i would be finding it damn hard to be racially tolerant. even as a chinese i was damn pissed off. and as i was at kovan wanting to grab something from the supermarket, lo and behold there was a lion dance right at the entrance of the supermarket. and i had to walk through it bursting both my eardrums simultaneously. clearly i have no love for this cny tradition, it's just all incessant pounding of drums and, worse still, clashing of cymbals.

anyway, it was a good cny this year in terms of food, ang pows, gatherings. cooked (mostly heating up stuff) alot this break. haha it's fun, but i'm not chef material for sure. drank alot of wine. practically only ate pineapple tarts. (i need to get my hands on some love letters).

i miss these guys back in melbourne. lately, more than usual, i've been wanting to get out of singapore and live somewhere else. not necessarily melbourne. in fact, not melbourne. just somewhere else where i can be anonymous and have a new adventure.

anyway, it's back to school. luckily i have one extra day tomorrow. haha but my annoying new media module is so rah rah let's go. freaking webcast lecture is up as well as assignment due tomorrow morning 8am. not to mention that pile of readings i meant to dent this break but well never got to. it's a hard year for rabbits! (oh so the zodiac thingy says)

f4 fever.

2009-01-24T13:39:00.002+08:00

i think the f4 drama must be the most remade drama in asia. and each of them are received with big receptions and hype. given that i refused to buy into taiwanese (ew) or japanese dramas, i'm glad that a korean version has been made. haha. was a bit reluctant at first, because of well the (over) hype. and it was hard to get through the first episode because of certain overacting. but! i'm now embarrassingly hooked.

the korean f4. if you know the taiwanese f4, i think it's easy to spot who's who. in my biased opinion, this f4 looks 100x better. they probably sing better too (given half are from actual music backgrounds).

i love this picture. can't decide if i like her though..

and he is most awesome! he reminds me a bit of daniel henney and (unfortunately) jerry yan. the thing is, he can actually really act :)

this must be the first time i'm watching a korean drama on real time in a while. it's excruciating waiting for the episodes each week!!

academia.

2009-01-21T20:46:00.002+08:00

i'm starting to get used to the early mornings. it's actually quite pleasant to be in school so early, if only for the relative quiet and calm. the only downside is it really tiring, especially when i've not gotten use to this new cycle.

this sem i'm actually quite positive about my modules and the lecturers. the two psych lecturers are adequate - one who's german so, as shi wen pointed out, sounds a bit like heidi klum but is really quite a good lecturer; the other has this accent i absolutely love listening to, oddly enough. i don't particularly like either modules but they are bearable.

my maths of games lecturer is well - tacky. haha he comes from hongkong and i can't stand his accent or his fashion sense or his tendency to harp on unimportant matters e.g. making us watch the entire movie 21 (tho i didn't particularly mind it, it was a bit retarded to wake up at unearthly hours to travel all the way to school TWICE for something i could have just watched at home) or discussing in depth the plot of the movie when the main related point was the part about counting cards. i do like the module though, because it's quite facinating, so i am tolerant to him and the fact tha this module has seriously screwed up my timetable.

new media writing is another module that i really like. the lecturer is quite annoying but the good news is it wont be her anymore and the upcoming lecturers seem much better. and finally, the mental health module is possibly my favourite module so far. only because i love the lecturer. this is only the second time i've felt that psychology was more than just stupid experiments or ridiculous theories. i really like it when a lecturer brings to the table experience and real-life applications for what we learn. ironically enough, this is not a psychology module.

that said, i hope this sem turns out to be a good one. still cannot decide with absolute certainty if i should continue studying after this semester. i know it's good for me and blahblahblah but the interest is really not there and i'm really getting sick of studying and worrying about the oh so NOT important thing called grades.

back to school.

2009-01-11T23:03:00.003+08:00

i simply hate post holidays.

NEED to plan another holiday asap in order to make myself feel like there's something to look forward to in this dreary thing called life.

i've been feeling terribly displaced from the moment i touched down on friday morning. the change in lifestyle is too great.

and i've the most disgusting timetable this sem. with four days in the week starting at 8 freaking am. i swore never to bid for 8am classes. but interest won out convenience (something i think i might come to regret). congrats eunice. in fact i just realised i might even actually end up with a five day week kill me now.

i can't believe i'm in my last semester of year three.

want to blog about melbourne and shall try to do so soon.

other than that, How I Met Your Mother is a freaking awesome show (have i mentioned this yet?) and everyone should watch it.

hello 2009.

eve of christmas eve.

2008-12-24T01:39:00.003+08:00

incredible last minute rush the past few days have been. the Great Christmas Shopping Task of buying christmas presents for all my cousins and aunts and uncles in aus was finally completed (well mostly completed) after days of joining the crazy last minute shopping crowd at orchard road. *shudders* this might have been the first year i did that. haha.

ooh nice wii day with yx and jol. well wii on jol's and my part at least haha. i love wii too much but always get these awful muscle aches the day after.

stayed over at sister's hostel in ntu that night as well and i am forever grateful for never having stayed in hall (not to mention for the lovely accomodation in alaska last year). nothing scares me more than communal toilets. i think i behaved like a real brat that night/morning and i am rather ashamed. but i was tired and cranky and the far flung place didnt help :x

anyway, so one more day to the flight! and guess what, my suitcase is still empty. awesome. haha

ooh, results day today. probably the best christmas present i got haha. hurray for computing! hurray for animal torture class! i'm really grateful i pulled off the working studying thing but i dont think i'll be trying that again..

pre-christmas brunch with li today. blueberry pancakes at cedele are pretty damn awesome! i love places with all day breakfast. :D

rusty and his christmas biscuits from us! :D i love how i captured his look of longingness. haha

well merry christmas and happy new year in advance singapore and all in it! :D

hanging up my duch shoes.

2008-12-20T00:20:00.003+08:00

so today was finally my last day, after multiple extensions of my stay. haha. maybe i'll go back next year, but who knows?

anyway, i think ultimately i did enjoy my 6 month stint there. so far i've enjoyed all my work experiences (except maybe the disaster that was ushering), because each of them, despite their trials and tribulations, are an adventure in themselves. this one was my first office job, my first 9-6, my first brush with the horrendous work herd. although at times the job was monotonous, menial, a bit too much for me to handle, there were the fair share of satisfying experiences.

and once again, i was really lucky with a pleasant work environment (i think their staff welfare is pretty gooood) and nice colleagues: my boss, tai djoe (how cool is her name?) - a nice enough lady who i've never heard scold anyone. tho i sometimes have difficulty conversing with her and understanding what she wants me to do haha. but still, definitely a boss i would not mind. plus she shares (most of) her presents! :D my "second boss", hui sze -in every job i've had, i've been lucky enough to meet people who are really good at what they do (with the exception of housekeeping i guess), and in this job, it's hui sze. besides that, she's a great supervisor and a friend i hope i can keep :) my third boss (? haha), yvonne - young at heart (not that she's exactly old in age), she's the one who i feel is most like my peer. haha. we're on the same wavelength in a sense, probably because she was from ac as well. the intern, terence - replacing me at the bottom of the pecking order. haha probably would have been a good friend if i'd made friends with him earlier instead of my last day. noteworthy: his chinese is truly, worse than mine. haha! then there are the (some) nice friendly people around. i mostly got along with the secretaries (since i'm almost like one), and the receptionist and delivery guys and cleaning aunty. hahaha everyone else is too intimidating :|

as always, it's a bit bittersweet at the end of a job. but i am glad for my freedom, my right to sleep in, and i guess i look forward to being a full-time student next semester. speaking of school, RESULTS IN 4 DAYS. shitty shit.

and it's 5 days to melbourne. have not packed whatsoever.

spring is here (figuratively).

2008-12-11T02:16:00.003+08:00

just finished watching yet another korean drama!

absolutely cute "may-june" couple. the show actually centers more on the female lead who is in her 30s and has yet to fall in love. yes sounds very cliched but it's really well handled! in fact i think this drama was way better than kim sam soon. for one, the female lead is much more likeable (to me) despite her horrific hair and makeup which actually grows on you. plus it's an extremely feel good show. problems arent dragged out (despite it being a relatively long drama) and there were virtually no evil characters (which can be so frustrating) yet it's not an airy fairy kind of show where everyone gets along and the world is beautiful. reality is very much present, yet the characters deal with it and make the most of it. definitely an encouraging kind of show.

anyway, went back to work today. i'm pretty much going to be a postwoman for the rest of my time there. my table or cubicle is practically flooded with packages of calendars and diaries to be sent out to so many different people. and red packets are coming in next week. superr. not to mention cbd is damn depressing. i dont think i could handle working there full-time and for the long haul. every lunch time, i am so tempted to just stay in the office cos that's the time when it's the quietest, emptiest and most peaceful. stepping outside into the massive morning/lunch/evening crowd is both depressing and frustrating.

anyway, picked up twilight to read during my lonesome lunch. was a bit hard to get into the narrative at first (not sure if i like her writing style). but the plot seems promising. plus i do want to finish the book before the movie comes out!! haha

and digressing back to my korean show, i think the male lead is a perfect candidate for a romantic vampire type character..

the pale skin. red lips. bloodshot eyes.

he even has vampire like teeth. haha.

real world.

2008-12-09T01:28:00.004+08:00

so in real world happenings,

less than a month ago, visited my cousin's new baby daughter (and tormented her as photographic evidence tells). i think it was the first time i was carrying such a young child and i was really mortified at how malleable (for lack of a better word) they are. but oh so soft, and warm, and adorable!!

sent liming off to her ski holiday in japan and pretended to be a fellow jetsetter (with luggage and all) and went for drinks at crowne hotel. i do quite like the interior of the hotel but the bar leaves much to be desired. that aside, i cant wait to go into t3 transit area!!!

bolt in 3D! (cannot find a cute enough photo of bolt which annoys me greatly.) 3D is a visual treat though the effects were not as spectacular as i had hoped for. the movie was actually pretty enjoyable though! am in love with bolt who is the cutest thing ever. how can anyone ever be mean to dogs? they are so loveable!

otherwise: reading, korean dramas (shall be raving about another one shortly), and wii! :D i love life now.

weather's really chilly these days! pretty cool (punpun!)

soulmate.

2008-12-04T16:54:00.002+08:00

my blog is practically turning into a review site. but my life is pretty much revolving around escaping into the world of fiction right now...

just finished watching this really awesome drama about dating and the idea of soulmates. i think it has a really nice mix of realism and romanticism, right down to the ending. which differs from the typical korean drama which leans more on romanticism. anyway, in general, this is a highly underrated drama/sitcom, but it's a real gem with many insights into dating and relationships. it makes you think and understand and most importantly, not harbour useless wishful thoughts. haha! great cast and concept as well :)

“There’s no such thing as a perfect man or a perfect woman. There are only imperfect men and imperfect women, who come together to make a perfect love.”

best of all, it has a really kickass soundtrack. all this shows with their killer songs. my ears are very happy :D

cape no. 7

2008-12-04T00:48:00.003+08:00

went to catch cape no. 7 just now. i personally feel it's a bit overhyped BUT that said, the music is pretty awesome, and it is quite an enjoyable watch.

best: van fan is awesome!!!!

worst: i DO NOT get the love story between the two of them. plus she is really annoying (to me). she squawks and is unnecessarily aggressive and sad. she is not even very pretty nor can she act particularly well so i have no idea why she was cast either.

(sorry for being harsh. reading Grotesque, and the narrative is very harsh. perhaps have been influenced.)

speaking of squawking, i strongly feel that the population at large should not be punished for the poor parenting of well, parents. i hate little children who squawk or shriek in public, and i hate parents who do nothing about it even more.

it's here again.

2008-12-02T18:21:00.004+08:00

hello (short period of) freedom!!! hahahah

it's very ironic, that the two modules i took to make my sem easier are proving to be the two modules that will screw me over this sem. econs was a disaster. for the first time in my life, i actually forgot to bring any form of identification to an exam. luckily they didnt give me too much grief about it. still the paper was terrible. my mind was in a mess and i just couldnt remember the numerous formulas or how to use them :(

lessons learnt this semester:
1. never underestimate a module
2. there is a correlation between number of lectures attended (or time spent on a module), and how hard you will find the exam

next sem, i aspire to be a good hardworking student (with as few exams as possible). I AM FREAKING YEAR 3 AND SHOULD START BEING SERIOUS. seriously.

but HELLO FREEDOM AGAIN! :D

forgot to blog about this earlier, but caught avenue q end last month! very talented cast, enjoyable, but possibly overrated...

thinking of a new blogskin!

coffee addiction.

2008-11-27T01:27:00.007+08:00

i really got hooked onto coffee prince at the worst possible time.

just read pretty much all the episode summaries at this wonderful place (i love the blogger, she inspires me to be eloquent and insightful and she feels like someone i'd like to talk to) despite being in the midst of my exams. and am completely in love with this song that the gorgeous male lead sang the gorgeous female lead in the most adorable display of affection...

*cue melting*

so exams have finally started. was waiting for the paper to start when my groupmate came by and casually asked, "last paper?" HA HA unfortunately not.

the paper was held in a dungeon and was digusting and the only redeeming thing about this module was that it's probably the module that i've spent the least time on, ever.

i feel like i'm not even trying this semester and i feel guilty but not. mostly tired. tired of fighting to keep my CAP at a decent enough state but realizing that it could all come to naught in a mistake of a semester. i hate how school has become such a struggle, the undue stress that exams cause, and the ultimate lack of meaning studying has come to achieve. most of all, i hate that school interferes with life. but then again, i'm sure work will similarly do the same thing. it's so hard to know what you want. and even harder to have to courage to fight for it wholeheartedly.

ok floating away on an awesome soundtrack that's not helping the addiction.

it's raining now and so i shall sleep because that's what rain is for. tomorrow is nonstop mugging, i hope.

rabbit without ears.

2008-11-24T01:51:00.003+08:00

great german romcom showing at gv europa!

and i am ashamed to admit that i have gotten hooked to coffee prince because of stupid channel u showing it's reruns. after a particularly good episode on thursday, i couldnt resist and dug up the dvd set that i had previously bought and then chucked aside after dissing the show for being lame and boring. haha i really hated the hype and didnt' particularly like the leads. but now i'm in loveeeeeeee. it's a bloody sweet and hilarious story and the leads did a really great job.

i'm so sick and tired of waiting for the exams to start. have been pretty much homebound except for a few trips to the airport and the one trip to the movies. and have never had a slacker period in my recent life - no school, no work. it fools me into thinking i have immense time to spare. hence all the show watching and sleeping in and general non mugginess. i really need the exams to start SOON before i just sleep through the entire thing.

and argh i am still suffering from coffee withrawaaaaaaaaaaaaaal.

again, sorry, the absurdity of psychology.

2008-11-17T21:36:00.002+08:00

writing this lab report is driving me mental.

and then i inevitably come to the absurdity of psychology research.

you start out reviewing what other people have done. pointing out their flaws/contributions/shortcomings etcetc. (do remember to cite every and anything if you value your no-plagarism record).

then you make a small modification and then justify why what you are doing is worth the time (and perhaps money). and no, "as course requirement" doesnt quite cut it (even though it's the only reason that isnt bullshit, for my case at least).

then you launch into a very lengthy step by step of what you did. from who your unfortunate subjects were to the freaking machinery that was used.

then you report your (often insignificant, yes i said insignificant because what's the point of euphemisms such as not significant when it basically means. the. same. thing. YOU FAILED) results.

and then my favourite part. the discussion. where you then launch into why you didnt get your results. isnt' this ridiculous that psychologists get to talk about limitations of their research? like if we had a bigger sample, or if we did a better manipulation, maybe we'll get significant results. ridiculous!

and anyway, most psychology reports are full of bull, i mean things that aren't really important or necessary. sometimes you feel that this field was create just so aspiring academics have something to do.

and this is why psychology is absurd. and a waste of time.

not everything's better in retrospect.

2008-11-16T01:32:00.001+08:00

it's depressing. to look back and realise what a horrible person you are.

exam season.

2008-11-13T20:59:00.002+08:00

i can't studyyyyyy. i spent the entire day of today... doing essentially nothing. actually the studying part hasn't even started cos i'm still trying to write my stupid 17page lab report that is k i l l i n g me completely. i hate psych and it really frustrates me, especially when exam season is near. i really cannot wait to graduate. i write this down to remember, so that when i start to work in future, i will not be one of those people who still wish they were in school. WHY WOULD ANYBODY WISH THAT.

tv.

2008-11-10T23:19:00.003+08:00

have a terrible show addiction. greys anatomy. gossip girl. tudors (not really now). DIRTY SEXY MONEY. heroes. and now 90210.

have no idea how i stretch my time. i've finished watching all of those up to date and am feeling very "itchy" to watch something else even though i have shit loads of things to do now. zzz.

worked on animal torture class project for the whole of today, and since our rat did not get to make it into the final report, i shall place him here for all to see. he is freakishly real in the sense that i feel that if i put my finger to the screen i would actually feel fur. hur. and oops did i say rat? i meant mouse.

yawn.

2008-10-31T15:12:00.001+08:00

i am SO BORED.

and everyone seems cooler, and happier than me.

number 1.

2008-10-30T00:41:00.002+08:00

ripped this from someone.

i want to do something crazy like fly to a concert of theirs. now.

a book, a cd, a movie.

2008-10-25T15:30:00.002+08:00

three great things yesterday

i think i like local writing in it's simplicity and in that there's just something extra that you can identify with. and i really really like this book for being random, inspiring and just fun. :D

courtesy of shiwen yay! her voice is just !!

awesome movie. i love the absurdity of it all.

had to blog this down because how rare is it these days to find a great book, album or movie, and all in one day for that matter?

that aside, life is tiring. it really is. (maybe i'm just at the low point of my mood cycles). on the micro level, each day i force myself to wake up for school or work. at school, each week brings you closer to deadlines and exams, yet i'm too tired to get much done each day, compounded upon the fact that sch is so damn far away and it takes so much effort to get there, and get around its stupid stairs etcetc. at work, it's becoming increasingly menial lately. and being among the working crowd is depressing much. i keep feeling like i want to quit but i keep getting told and i know that i should be thankful for the job and i already promised. each morning i wake up i tell myself to hold on for the weekend. when i reach the weekend, i concuss, and wake up and feel like i've no energy to do anything but laze. at home, i thought it would be better but it's just the same, maybe worse? bringing me to the macro level. i can't think of my future, it's too much hard work. education, work, a place to live. i dont want to grow up, but i'll soon have no one to lean on. i think i have these fears that i always push away but when they creep back on me they make me feel like i just want it all to end. i'm sure it's all not that bad. i'm just failing to see the good.

the redundancy of psychology.

2008-10-05T16:36:00.002+08:00

studying for learning and conditioning makes me increasingly annoyed at my major. all these lengthy and trying to be intellectual papers talking in circles on pretty much the same point. when i think about it i find it so ridiculous how so much research and time and education can be wasted upon the subject of how a pigeon learns to peck on a light. (other ridiculous experiments include, how a worm learns to go toward a smell it likes, or how a snail stops responding to pokes). i mean WTF seriously. why does one need to build a highly complicated and mathematical model for simple observations? why do we need to learn how learning takes place in that much detail??! it's like i lose the point in all the jargon really.

all these great debates about whether learning is associative or computational. all this "excitement" (clearly not mine but those geeky professors with...ahemnolife) over which it is. designing more and more ridiculous experiments on more and more tortured animals for what? when in the end, we realise it is computational learning (for example) what are we going to do? throw a great computationing party?!!? and of course it'll never be the end. because psychology the field needs to continue growing, so someone will come along and propose an even more complicated model that imrpoves upon the minor flaws of the previous model and great we can debate and experiment some more. fun fun!

times like this, i really feel like i can't find it in me to continue wasting my life doing this crap called psychology. because i really don't know how to apply all this that i am being made to learn. i'd really much rather start working and learning practical things (and making money) but damn a miserable bachelors in arts and social science does stink.

taking it apart and putting it back together again.

2008-09-07T00:41:00.002+08:00

been "moving house" for damn long already. ridiculous amount of things to pack (not to mention the ridiculous amount of dust that has accumulated). and the thought of having to unpack it all again is just...

OMG.

mooncake season.

2008-09-04T23:51:00.003+08:00

took this at work.

love the chest!!

hello mooncakes :D

i wanted to blog more but my brain is fried right now.

displacement.

2008-09-01T22:22:00.004+08:00

i'm so bloody annoyed! i took my econs text out for one day and it has become dog
earred in quite a bad way. why is it so! i was so careful to hold it properly :(

this is a freaking hilarious movie!

moving house is a bitch. over ten years or so i've accumulated so much that is hard to throw away. moving house sometimes makes me feel that life is such a struggle. i whine i know.

2008-08-21T00:15:00.002+08:00

i'm tired. and...cluttered.

i have issues, that i can't seem to verbalize, in any form and it frustrates me.

i must have gone wrong somewhere.

showtime.

2008-08-13T00:05:00.005+08:00

on a lighter (kind of) note, caught

10 promises to my dog

where i bawled like a very embarrassing human. had to close my eyes as the dog died. certainly one of the most traumatizing movies.

bank job

pretty good! i liked the lead and the cleverness of it all.

bad habits (malos habitos)

interesting, bordering on weird. haha but spanishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i like. haha

pathology

one sick sick sick sick movie. definitely not for weak stomachs.

perspective please.

2008-08-12T23:35:00.003+08:00

i most definitely have an anxiety problem.

am going crazy worrying about everything and nothing. and altho somewhere in the back of my mind i know this is all not of catastrophic nature, i still worry till the point my heart races, head spins and everything tenses :| ok i sound a bit psychotic here.

school weighs down on me like a ticking bomb that will only denotate come december 1, post my last paper.

and i cant seem to stop working. today i got blinded by a thousand flashes. how do models not go blind?? talked to people about the randomest things. was pretty funny tho, how they were distracted by the large camera lens pointed at them. felt good not to be the one squirming in the spotlight! heheh.

on top of this, i have to pack to move house! and despite this all, i do not do anything that helps either of the three situations.

more updates!

2008-07-27T02:38:00.008+08:00

so other stuff that's been happening.

lovely beach day with mingming.

drinks at scottslounge after work one day, also with mingming.

i now own something bigbang!!! thank you mingming :D

post birthday with jol&yx.

team lunch at hollandse club. and i have come to the conclusion that dutch food is really ~~gross~~ unpalatable.

love the dutch club tho! would totally hang there if i were dutch.

bitterballen. not one, but two trays (for four of us)!! damn awful!! have no idea what's in it/how to describe it. but i had to force one down cos i was sitting right in from of my boss - who's dutch.

the dutch main my adventurous colleague ordered. (i went for normal dory fish) - HUGE boiled sausage with sour vegetables and dubious mashed potatos? oh they had pea soup (that was more like paste) too.

the dessert wasnt as bad. some egg liqeur thing, tho it was damn strong!

korean bbq at yx's!

introducing babygrill :D haha and I LOVE MUSCATO!

redcliff with vonvon and yaqi! got free tickets cos yaqi's bro works there. :D it was damn good. loved the battle scences, was laughing like mad at some parts. but seriously it was quite shiok. and given that i generally dislike chinese stuff PLEASE TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.

two of my favorite characters. :D (yes i'm referring to the red cliff of tony leung and takeshi)

and well, work. extended my contract twice already! and now working right till sch starts, maybe even after it does? :x i'm doing it again! selling sch for irresistable pay.

2121.

2008-07-27T02:03:00.007+08:00

sososo. the 21st was a really awesome day.

lunch at the fab oomphaticos (which i highly reccomend for a happy meal, and no i dont mean the macdonalds kind)

ang pow time! :D

i'm 21! :D

then a lovely surprise at my favourite hotel with my favourite people in my favourite colours

photo courtesy of shiwen :)

and, cos i'm lazy to pick and post anymore pictures, i'll end off with the cake i love so much :D:D

photo courtesy of xue :)

muchmuch love to everyone who came and did such a fabulous job of keeping me in the dark and for contributing to the best birthday party i've ever had. hehe. was most touching to see each one of you! :D oh and special love to the two main planners :D

birthday season.

2008-07-27T01:16:00.008+08:00

after that it was back to work work work. (more on that later)

july is birthday season tho!

brunch, dark knight @ goldclass with their damn awesome chairs, night safari!

youfei's greek party! damn impressively big scale, almost like wedding most of us concurred. but it was a nice opportunity to see pl-lites. :)

(disclaimer: pictures all not mine - only the editing. hahaha.)

other birthday would be mine. hahha in next post with BIGGER pictures. muahaha.

land of the tuktuks, padthais & twintowersss.

2008-07-27T00:46:00.006+08:00

bloggy has been neglected!

so i shall backlog a little.

first up - bangkok!! was loads of good fun. shopping to a point of extreme exhaustion but pressing on cos there were so many things to buy! cheap alcohol! (make that cheap everything) fantastic hotels. massages! yummy food. tuktuks!! think the only bad thing about bangkok is the bad air and the..well very persistent shopkeepers/tuktuk drivers (tiger show, ping pong x100!). but all in all, i enjoyed it, and would love to go back! oh yeah, especially since our sightseeing day got rained on!!

some choice shots of the lovely trip. oh yeah. one other thing i love, that everything's so colorful! :D

hee i love this picture! taken at our beloved twin towers.

rainy rainy chinatown

tuktuks!! my fav way to mooooove.

hello fangfang

ripped from xue. sorry twinnie! but totally love this shot :) btw, i wanted to tell you, that i thought you behaved like a pretty seasoned traveller! ahaha :D

over full moon.

2008-07-04T22:22:00.005+08:00

4hrs before i am to wake!

had a completely mind-busting day at work today. it started off slow with alot to do but no means of doing it as everyone else was so busy/not at work and i didnt have the appropriate software. so i did a little bit of this and that and stoned a bit. they were playing super corny colin ray songs on the intercom cos they were testing it and it was k i l l i n g me.

then post-lunch, somewhere around 3pm, i was bombed by an email loaded with webpage information for me to build freaking pages. which is fine la. i dont mind playing around with such things, it kind of intrigues me like figuring out a puzzle. but i had approx 2hrs to build ALOT of pages and my computer was soooooooo slow.

was so very relieved when 530 came around and huisze (my colleague) signalled for us to go! headed to fairmont hotel for mooncake tasting! hee. was served with a glass of champagne which promptly made me very woozy as i hadnt eaten in a while. she grabbed over a cup of chocolate balls to fill our tummies but guess what, they were liquor chocolates and they were strong. haha was starting to sway a bit when finally the mooncakes came out! borne by male waiters doing a wedding march. it was actually quite cute. haha. anw ate a shitload of mooncakes. their alcoholic snowskin ones are pretty damn awesome! they had baileys, bacardi and moet (the best!) flavours.

scooted out after trying all the flavors (pig pig pig). and came home to pack for bangkok! never had a speedier packing and an emptier bag. hahah. LOADS of room to fill up. alrights. better snooze now. be back in 5 days! :)

dirty, sexy, money.

2008-06-29T00:53:00.001+08:00

ooh and btw, highly reccomend this! :D

bite me.

2008-06-29T00:34:00.002+08:00

scanned this one day when i was so bored at work. it's a donut! and it's utterly cute.

i cut my fringe!! feels very acomplished though i dont think anyone would know i cut it. but i do. and i'm really happy with it. plus i think it's super fun cutting hair.

am so darn bored these days. and the heat really disgusting.

wanted.

2008-06-27T00:04:00.003+08:00

went to catch wanted. plot was nothing fantastic but it was a pretty enjoyable movie. awesome action. and i think the two leads were pretty damn good. bullet's from probably one of the coolest (i thought) scenes in the show. haha.

i hate damn cramps. and reading a spot of bother makes me think of life and how it's so...long. and full of shit (even while we count our blessings it's not the catastrophic kind) i think mark haddon's really good in this book and i wish someone like him would document my life like that. just because it's so comprehensive (for lack of better word), and well put together and organized.

speaking of organize. work. what am i doing at work? i organize. i organize files, articles, namecards, spreadsheets, events. yes. lately there's been sufficient work for me to do without making me feel like tearing my hair out from either extreme boredom or extreme stress. which is kind of nice. this is probably the easiest job i've ever had, i realize.

gosh. this felt rather cathartic :)

last for one.

2008-06-15T15:36:00.004+08:00

went for a job interview last week (?) and was just lamenting my poor future job prospects as i was asked many psych questions (as in why i took it, what i learn blablabla), to which i had no awe-inspiring answer, as well as to read and edit (!!) a chinese article, of which i barely understood. i got the job, probably cos they really needed someone on short notice, and now am totally freaking out cos i start tmr. AH. i will really cry if they make me do anymore chinese stuff.

went to catch spin odyssey at the esplanade yesterday. was pretty good fun. and the guys were really good looking! hehe. they came out to greet the fans after the show. we were so starstruck we hesitated, left, and then came back again to try and get photos.

by then there were only three left. hahah and stupid liming chickened out. but was a pretty fun fan moment there heh.

ANYWAY. jason mraz is freaking coming to singapore again! but this time as part of singfest so higher ticket prices, long hours of standing with massive sweaty crowds, probably not as good sound, have to endure other singers (tho those on his day arent too bad) etcetcetc. butbutbut! i really want to see him again :(

EMB.

2008-06-09T11:19:00.002+08:00

i hate my dad's tendency to throw stuff in the fridge away. heck, not just in the fridge. i'm freaking starving and there's nothing substantially edible in the house. i mean there's cereal (with no milk), butter&peanutbutter (with no bread), noodles (with no egg!). i hate thwarted breakfast plans.

so i've been a complete bum this summer thus far. have only done one 3day job. am most definitely getting fat and poor.

ok. i think i should just go back to bed.

zwartboek.

2008-06-04T02:11:00.004+08:00

caught this at the picturehouse today. pretty damn exciting! and i think she (carice van houten) is bloody gorgeous.

essense of bat.

2008-05-29T22:28:00.004+08:00

for the first time in a really long time, i woke up to early morning sun. pretty! but not as gorgeous as the sunset i witnessed (without a camera) at the airport the other day.

crazy morning drama involving a damn bat that breached my room air security. am so peeved that it did not get killed by my dad but instead dubiously disappeared behind my curtains and into thin air.

day one of three of being an NCSS "martyr". every part of me aches right now. will blog more about it (maybe) when i stop hurting.

show bug.

2008-05-15T02:07:00.003+08:00

have been bitten (badly) by the show bug!!

time between dog and wolf - freaking exciting korean show about undercover cops, lost memories, drug gangs, and Really Bad Fate ("the kind that follows you") hahah.

grey's anatomy - fourth season's been pretty much not as good, especially without ADDISON!! and loads of changes. everything's more sombre. like some kind of midlife crisis. but it's picking up picking up in the latest episodes...

greek!! - finally getting back to it after i was whisked away from my american tv. tho not as exciting (or hot) as the one below, it's still pretty good. and I LOVE CAPPIE! (the topless dude ha.)

and finally, GOSSIP GIRL!!!!!! - bloody addictive show. ALL THE OTHERS PALE IN COMPARISON! hahaha

photos

2008-05-09T14:02:00.006+08:00

dying of heat (and fatigue). seriously detest the weather. one year ago i was leaving this horrendous heat to a beautiful place where summer was cold

:(

caught two movies since my last paper on wed (which was kinda shitty, just like the one on tues was. boo nus)

iron man! think the best part of the movie was robert downey jr. (who's looking really ruffled and goooood here hahah)

and what happens in vegas! which was freaking hilarious. cameron diaz was really captivating man.

sometime last week, went to visit my mum's side

bond with cousins..
their dog
and mummy
and a little late night drive/supper with von and sean (shaun? i dont know man..ha). first time being driven by someone younger than me..

went for a really yummy korean meal at chinatown. seriously felt like stepping into korea cos the shopowners and people who eat there were all koreans. haha

loving the vesak day decorations btw!!

ooh and i finally photo-ed the ferris wheel at downtown east! hahah (tho i may have made it look a little too magical ha)
ooh and black it is!!! :D

have got three months (or so) of summer but i'm already freaking out about going back to sch. think i might have developed some form of school phobia.

hello summer.

2008-05-08T01:50:00.002+08:00

it's summer, but i really want to go into hibernation.

sugar+color.

2008-05-01T02:44:00.003+08:00

i can't study anymore. i'm dead. and i think i feel a bit depressed and suffocated. maybe it was the freaking electrocution i got this afternoon. and... some stuff i guess. anyway. sugar+color :)

up for lots of happy air.

2008-04-29T03:16:00.007+08:00

woohoohoohoo! ntuexchange is officially (?) over. has been a completely stressful past two weeks cramming like siao. think it was possibly the hardest time i've ever had mugging for exams, and i'll be really happy if i can be rewarded with passing all of them :x

went to catch harold&kumar2 which was different, slightly less random, but still freaking funny. seriously love the two of them man. they should have a whole harold and kumar series!! oh and i think possibly the best part of the movie was the Square Root of Three poem - totally sweet in a geeky kinda way. haha. then sped off to catch the forbidden kingdom at the new cathay cinema in PASIR RIS!! damn freaking shiok that pasir ris finally has a cinema again. haha. movie was pretty interesting, think it's pretty cool how they merged east and west.

anyway i have a new crush! to replace my poor dead robey. which looks better..black or white!!

(now i just need to remember i have two more GRADED exams)

elp.

2008-04-22T23:46:00.003+08:00

(got him from my bk breakfast kids meal one allnighter at the airport and his expression superly conveys what i feel now.)

and so, the battle begins.

am super freaking scared because, despite reading all my chapters, i cant remember nuts. and biopsych doesnt seem like something crappable, simply because it's bloody fact. will seriously cry if i fail this and have to retake.

one thing this exchange experience taught me is that the optimal number of modules to take per sem is TWO.

stop creeping up my nose and taking out my eyes.

2008-04-20T02:14:00.001+08:00

i hate it when i'm "sick". everything seems so tiring and so impossible. like how am i going to pass my ntu modules, esp the very bleak biopsych and cognitive development of which i've been to one lecture each and less than half the tutorials for both. and i've mentioned this before, but why is it that the bio parts of biopsych are not written in english?? if you throw me some brain part/neurotransmitter or whatever thingy name now i'm pretty sure i would not be able to throw you back a vague idea of what it is even though (!) i've read most of the text already. and the freaking lecturer didnt even mention anything about the format which scares me greatly. 2 and a half hours of the Great Unknown for my first ntu exam. super super.

so tired. hate the battle that is the Finals and how i always seem to fall sick around that time. dont know which irritates me more - that being sick interferes with my studying or that studying (and the stress) exacerbates my sickness. hate my pathetically weak body and whatever it is in the air that is ATTACKING ME RIGHT NOW.

achooooooooooooooooooooo.

2008-04-19T08:36:00.003+08:00

have been awake for 22 hours straight but dont feel sleepy currently.. reminds me of this facinating sleep chapter i just read in bio psych that was really pro one-does-not-really-need-alot-of-sleep. random trivia: did you know that leonardo da vinci (i think, or some other famous leonardo person) had a really facinating sleep pattern whereby he only slept 1.5hrs a day - 15min naps every 4hrs, and survived and functioned very well! other people have been found to subscribe to this sleeping pattern as well. i think it's a damn useful sleep pattern for mugging period la. imagine all that extra mugging time. but as i was telling my groupmate, i will try it (maybe) during summer break, to maximise my freedom. ha.

omg i am so allergic to something. it's killing me, my nose, and my lungs!!!

el orfanato.

2008-04-15T13:09:00.003+08:00

went to catch THE ORPHANAGE (click for picture, i can't bear to put it up on my blog o.o) yesterday at kallang leisure park, which really, is the place to go if you want to feel like you rented the entire cinema. was just the three of us plus one lone guy at the back. anyway, the show was pretty good for a scary flick. the storyline was good, the little boy absolutely adorable, and the scares, well scary. haha. and i'm still intrigued by the spanish language!

unfortunately though, it was just me and my sister at home last night. and so it was really hard to get to sleep cos i kept thinking of the damn movie! dont think i'll be catching anymore horror flicks in the near near future...

anyhoos. exams are pending. the weather is a bitch. and my period came. whoop.

we will rock you.

2008-04-12T02:13:00.003+08:00

went to catch we will rock you in really fab seats (yay student concession haha). was overall pretty damn rocking. queen really has some very classic songs. and the cast was pretty good (esp the killer queen!!). the audience was damn on also (this really funny angmoh dude started waving a freaking man u flag during the we are the champions rendition hahah) so all in all goooooooood! :D

my stomach is so insanely screwed up these days. really hope it's PMCramps.

tired (lazy).

2008-04-07T03:02:00.005+08:00

i am such a bad student. ever since cog test, i havent hit the books/touched my work.

caught definitely, maybe which was really really good, i thought. really liked the two of them :)

got shamefully trounced at monopoly :'(

lunch with mum and sis today.

and dessert at the hkcafe later at night :)

and a severe addiction to prisonbreak (which, really, is the thing that's taking over my life.) and rented movies (of which i though thewaitress and rumourhasit were pretty goood!)

i really have a pile of work waiting for me. and the exams lurking in the corner. but all i want to do is lie in bed/watch more shows/read my new book.

rusty.

2008-03-29T17:45:00.002+08:00

poor rusty had to make a trip to the vet and came back with shitloads of meds. haha but don't let that picture fool ya, he's all up and happy and bounding about as per normal :)

utter oblitheration of your soul.

2008-03-28T01:44:00.003+08:00

ok. this goes out to all us poor students who have to write paper after freaking paper

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/HowTo:Write_a_Paper

(disclaimer: it wont be much REAL help, cept to give a few laughs maybe haha)

it's ponning season for me. the only time i was in school in the past week was today, and even then, i skipped half of lecture for yongtaufoo. big fat lazy bum i am. yet another presentation tmr! this is one presenty sem :( can't wait for all this crap to be overrrrrrrr.

okayyy.

2008-03-25T01:24:00.003+08:00

i have this project at ntu that's due 9april.

in between i have a paper, two presentations and a test.

so it's not surprising that it's the least of my piorities now.

but my group actually put the deadline for individual parts as this wed.

when i mentioned out how ahead of time we were, one of them said it's good cos exams are three weeks away (are they really?!)

haha i'm not really complaining here (hope my tone doesnt come across as i am). i just believe i'm suffering from culture shock.

early late night.

2008-03-19T01:53:00.003+08:00

developmental psych is seriously the best choice i made at ntu. hahah. i seriously love my lecturer and my group. (almost enough to offset the horrible cognitive development, which after making me do a presentation and evil midterm, now requires me to write a 6page long research proposal in two weeks and present it wtfff)

what are the odds, but four of us in the group each stay at pasir ris, tampines, simei, and tanah merah! hahah. and i'm told! that ntu sleeping time is 2-4AM (insanity??) so i'm having a very early late night by their standards. nevertheless! i am going to bed now, or i shall conveniently sleep tmr's lecture away.

monday night nonblues.

2008-03-18T01:36:00.003+08:00

have serious shitloads of work to do. the next couple of weeks = three presentations, three papers, and one test. yet i managed to waste the entire night watching xiaxue's guide to life on youtube. hahah i seriously think i am a closet fan. horrors. ah tired. off to bed now. no school tmr! wheeeeee :)

wallow.

2008-03-17T00:25:00.005+08:00

had an EXTREMELY unproductive weekend. most of it spent lazing around at home on the bed/in front of the laptop. and a small escape to hooters.

hmm my black head sure stands out in the sea of dyed hair..

btw, watch horton! it's exceedingly adorable :D

parentheses.

2008-03-15T00:18:00.002+08:00

i'm procrastinating procrastinating procrastinating. on my stupid bio psych presentation. having one groupmate really is uncompelling (is there even such a word) when it comes to meeting deadlines and the such. cos you can just change it as you wish (within reason of course ha)

random, but i really can't stand bimbotic girls. thought my eyes would drop out (punpun ha) from excessive rolling today.

hmmmm..came up in a convo, but how come there are no love disorders in the DSM?? (or are there) hahaha.

water horse.

2008-03-08T03:02:00.002+08:00

this little thing is the cutest little ugly thing. ever.

progress report.

2008-03-03T00:45:00.004+08:00

FINALLY, after a tortorous past few days eating up my term break (what term break?), i have finally finished reading those miserable 6 chapters of abnormal psychhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. now i just have to pray all those bits of information don't leak out till thursday.

i will now go to sleep and then wake up to drag myself two hours to the furthest point from my house for one hour of my most favorite class to either get back possibly the most disastrous paper of my life or just sit through boring presentations or even worse participate in them. and then! start reading the 11 chapters of developmental psych i have to complete in two days which shiwen has just certified impossible (i secretly agree).

after which! i will sit for two consecutive tests (again). and then i can start preparing my three upcoming presentations, two of which are possibly to the entire lecture group (so exciting!); two term papers, one of which is a group effort with my (nonexistent) groupmates; and one more "midterm" test for the module i have not read a single chapter of and which i unfortunately cannot s/u.

and after aaaaaaaaaaaaaaall that, it's back to the books for even more mindless reading and memorizing for the all important Finals. what's worse is, i have two bouts of exams. cos of this wonderful thing called partial exchange, i effectively have 3weeks of exams. for 5 modules.

wow my life rocks?