<body>
pain that painkillers can't kill.
Thursday, May 05, 2005

today was one of those lonely days. i'm a terribly, terribly un-independent person. and as much as i hate to admit it, i am actually pretty dependent on people i never thought i was. i surround myself with certain people and become displaced when one or two are removed, even for a day. mondays are always lonely days anyway. haha or maybe i just really dont like being left with people i don't feel safe/comfortable/easy with.

doing chinese is just so.. painful. put an empty chinese worksheet/composition paper in front of me and immediately i deflate. it's the kind of pain that even painkillers can't kill. sighh. and we got back some chinese worksheets and my marks are just seriously pathetic. i doubt my ability to get even a d7. i'd just die if i get below that. and yet the likelihood of that happening seems to be growing per day. someone please stamp WHAT A LOSER on my forehead now.

delifrance lunch at holland v with shar after that. it was all good. made me feel a whole lot better i guess. about alot of things. like how i am such a socially retarded person. how i always treat the right people wrong. etcetc. grabbed a cab in the rain (and scary lightning!) and headed down for econs tuition with debbie. at least i'm getting one thing possibly back on track. psychologically, it just feels better to have someone to rely on, to share the burden of panic and stress.


i'm too tired to finish this post.


Making mountains out of molehills.


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