why do i feel like the world has ended when really nothing's changed?

strange, but i just like playing out the drama in my head.

and stupid, but even this makes me happy. well not happy, but idontknowwhat. some other feeling that i like but hate. and i'll only be happy here until you leave. then here becomes what it actually is - nothing.

i dont make sense. i need this year to end in a hurry!