i've neverever felt this happy to have reached the damn weekend. yesterday was the lowest of lows in the week. my math class is just out of point. 42 of them, ALL of which are little terrors who can't shut up for more than a minute and can't keep their bums on their seats. it's hard enough conducting a lesson without having one kid come up to me ONE AFTER ANOTHER like an endless stream of flies, to ask to go to the toilet, hand in books, tell on their friends or tell me random things etcetcetc while the rest talk among themselves. halfway through the lesson i couldnt take it and actaually had to go next door to get maria to help me control the class. and damnit, the moment she walked in they all kept quiet. i was like ARGH YOU DAMN KIDS. she made them stand up and they were quiet for all of 5 seconds after she left the classroom. omg i could have died. i really dont know what to do. and before i could even do anything, the bell rang. i didnt know whether to laugh or cry. after the kids left, i was so pissed off i went to the toilet and just cried. i was crying because i hated having to scream and shout to no avail, because the kids were so damn annoying, because i didnt know what to do and because i couldnt even stop myself from crying. i was so frustrated i wanted to quit there and then.
but then like after a while, i kinda calmed down and things didnt seem so bad. maybe it was cos the weekend was here. maybe it was cos of lunch with xue, where we laughed and laughed at the funniest things the kids do. the other teachers were really nice about it too. like maria who came over twice to help me and she was really really nice about it, even offering to take the king of terrors away. and michelle and ferlynn who talked to me about it. i guess i'm just a bit stressed by the fact that i'm not accomplishing much with the kids right now, because they refuse to be quiet and so it takes so damn long to get them settled and primed to do work.
but i guess despite how i say i hate them, there are a few who really make me smile. like this little boy who keeps coming up to me showing me his drawings, telling me how some other kid calls him ber-ber-banana. this other boy who's perpetually got a runny nose and stares at me blankly till i say something then he gives this reallyreally cute smile. some of the girls who always come up to me asking 'can i help you?' and when my form class screams out 'good morning miss goh' and start giggling. and when i see them outside class and they say hi. i really want to be nice to them and i can't bring myself to be strict with them but this is like so not working out. argh.
ANYWAY. it's the weekend so i'll stop thinking about school.
today, i went and got myself another side job. well done eunice. as if you're not stressed enough. sometimes i dont think. and i knowingly don't think. but anyway, i'm going to tutor this p2 boy twice a week in the evenings after school. he's really really intellegent and adorable tho, so i kind of look forward to that. plus, more money! muahaha.
then in the afternoon, went for my cousin's wedding. yet another wedding. in a few years time, all these weddings are going to start to get depressing.
my other cousin's kid. he's so freaking adorable. ask him to smile and he squints his little right eye in attempt to lift up his mouth into a grin. kids are cute. in small quantities. of like one.