kay so like the past few days have been some kind of a emotional rollercoaster man. one day i was hating and cursing my p3s. then the next, i was told that i had a mere one day left with them. it was, to say the least, 'a rude shock'. and as corny or stupid as this sounds, after i heard that and went down for assembly, my form class looked so loveable to me. and most of all my p1s. thank god i had a period with them that day. i really wanted to pack them all up and take them with me :( so yesterday was completely depressing. for one, it's the sense of loss of control. like someone up there made the decision for me. it's one thing saying you dont want to teach the class anymore because you are making the decision. it's another when someone tells you that you won't be taking those classes anymore. and also, i get really attatched. which is stupid but it can't be helped. i know i'll still be seeing them but they won't be mine anymore. which really really sucks.

i was really not looking forward to school today. to coming down to assembly and not sitting with my class. to having to attend to another class in front of them. to see another teacher attending to them. i feel so stupid but i can't help it! they are like my first batch of students and so they're special. and even though they bully me and piss me off, they really make me laugh half of the time.

when i went down to assembly and walked over to 3kindness instead of 3joy it just felt really wrong. but i just sat there since i couldnt really do anything about it. and then some of the girls shouted 'miss goh! we hate you forever!' i was like gee thanks. they didnt say it in a mean way but it felt horrible cos i think they think i don't want them anymore, which is like so not true. and when they got led up to class by a different teacher, they all looked at me like i abandoned them or something. it was horrible. then during recess, i ate ALONE because my poor fellow teacher lost her voice. i felt pretty damn miserable, save for when two of my p1s who came up and said hi. (including my fav boy hehe). then i had canteen duty for the p3 recess and that's when the nightmare started. a group of my p3s like practically mobbed me. it started with one girl and it kinda grew until i couldnt even recognise some of them. and they chased me from one end of the canteen making so much noise. it was so damn embarrassing cos the principal and vice principal were there. and then they even went up to ask the principal to put me back to that class. i was really touched when they first asked me to go back. but like after i asked them to go away and they refused, i was just plain horrified. esp when the bell rang and they still wouldnt budge. i had to like practically run into the staffroom to hide. hahah.

one of the boys was really adorable tho. i always liked him cos he's so plump and cute and has this totally doh kind of expression. he's really smart but can't sit still in class. so anyway, he was like one of the few boys in the group and he said, 'what do you want then you'll come back? you want money is it? 10,000 enough? ok? i'll give you!' hahahaha. it was just the way he said it. i was so touched :( and then i found out later that one of the girls in my class was crying cos i wasnt there. she was always very quiet in class and just starting to like open up a bit to me. and then ya, i had to leave her. boo :(

that's why i'm going to miss my babies so much :( but i guess, practically, it's better for them and for me. cos my workload is soooo much less now. i have practically zero marking to do, only take one class, and only co-teach. which means i only go around and help the kids while another teacher teaches. when i was passing over all my teaching stuff to the other teacher, she looked really horrified. haha. and today, as i was leaving at ONE THIRTY, i heard another teacher tell her, 'now you can forget about leaving at 1.30, or even 2.30', and i was like hurhurhur. haha. oh well, i still feel kinda empty now tho. :(

AN EDIT WITH SOME HAPPY NEWS..

OMFG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. MR JASON MRAZ IS LIKE COMING TO SINGAPORE. i hate myself for not reading the newspaper. so like i only found out today from reading rachel's(lifesaver!! :D) blog. i like spazed. at first i thought she was going to USA to watch him cos i've checked his site and the only shows he was doing in the near future were all in the US and UK. so first thing i did was to google jason mraz and singapore. and bam there you go, there's an article about him coming here in march! woooo. so yes, in a mad frenzy i called liming, booked her, booked the tickets (much thanks to my aunt and her credit card hehe) and yay now i am going for jason mraz's concert too! :D:D thank goodness the tickets are pretty reasonable (anyway i think i would have paid whatever) so i could tell the woman to give me seats as far front as possible. so we got row six! I'M LIKE SO BLOODY EXCITED NOW LA. i can't even be sad about my whole school thing anymore (altho from time to time i still get a little bummed :( ). seeing him live was one of the top ten things i wanted to do before i die, no exaggeration. hahaha. yayayayay. oh yes and i checked his site just and now, there's this!

17 Mar 2006 Singapore
Esplanade Music Hall
Doors: 7:30pm

whooopee. :D