OH. MY. WORD.

i'm shellshocked.

one, i hate wearing kneelength skirts and heels. cos i feel like i'm trying so damn hard to look older and more like a teacher and less like a kid. and also, bloody heels are killing my feet. seriously, by the first half of day, i could practically feel my feet harvesting blisters. by the end of the day, my thighs felt as if they just ran a freaking marathon. i dont know what shoe to put my pure tortured feet into tomorrow..

two, i feel like a student in teacher's clothings. i keep waiting for someone to brief me and help me but there's no one. then the kids kept asking me what to bring the next day and i had no freaking clue. so i went and asked another teacher, and he told me....up to me! omg i was like what?! apparently as form teacher i need to make all these decisions. so i told them they didnt need to bring their books tomorrow since it's still orientation. so i'm just going to die tomorrow if my class is the only one with tiny bags. =x

thankfully i have a really nice co teacher for these first two days. too bad the kids only listen to her tho. when she left me alone with the class for an hour, it was complete chaos. i had no idea what to do with them. so i told them to play quietly. and of course, in a primary three class of fortytwo that's like a frigging oxymoron. they were making soooo much noise. and when everytime i told them to keep quiet they practically ignored me! this really annoying kid who won't shut up even talked back to me and refused to be punished. so after a while i just gave up. and let them make all the noise they wanted. then when i walked outside this other student who was walking past the class said to me, your class very noisy ah! i was mortified. thank goodness the co teacher came back and saved my ass.

and classes start on thursday and i have no idea what i'm going to do. for one, i dont have the math and science textbook i'm supposed to have. for two, i obviously can't control the class. its' impossible talking loudly for prolonged periods of time. for me at least. i really dont know what on earth i got myself into! and i just signed the contract today. (the bright spot in the day was that i found out i'm getting 65 a day. whee. but right now i'm thinking, whatever the wage i'm being underpaid) and today i only met my form class. i still have two p1 classes and a p4 and p5 class to meet. seriously, i need some saving right now.

oh and i had like a 30minute break the whole day. one other good thing. the food's so cheap! my recess cost 30cents.

ok i should stop whinging. sorry. i hope no one at work ever sees this.