i realise i have become content with "getting by". i stopped striving for excellence way back in primary school. stopped trying to have the neatest handwriting, to get into the best class/school, to get stellar grades. cos i knew that trying so hard took too much effort and failure was too much disappointment. i just wanted to do enough to get to the next level. which is why i realise uni is such a bad thing. cos no matter what, how badly you do, you still get to the next stage. there's no benchmark set for you to cross. and while the thought of not doing well this sem is not a nice one and makes me panic occasionally, i still cant bring myself to do anything about it. just blew two hours doing...nothing. i'm so frustrated with myself honestly. someone please give me some willpower!

and i miss.....alot of things.