I used to walk myself through my own life. I knew what was happening. I knew who I was. But I've ignored my thoughts. Let them go the moment they formed. If you don't think about it, it doesn't matter yea?

My fear of mistakes. Does it mean I've made less mistakes than I could have? Perhaps. But I've spent probably an equal amount of time worrying, fretting, stopping myself, than I would have regretting and bearing the consequences of a mistake.

Life. It is so short, and so very long at the same time. Especially when you don't know where you're going, and worse, don't know where you are trying to go.

I'm sensitive. That is an understatement. Getting something wrong feels like a punch to the gut. If people show even the slightest indication that they dislike or despise me, I feel a slap on the face.

The idea of disappointing someone or failing freaks me out so much. I don't dare put myself in a competitive situation and I thrive the best in a simple environment.

But is that so bad? Aren't I beyond that point in my life where I try to fit in. Isn't it time to find the place that fits me instead?

And that brings me to my biggest problem. My self-judgement. Why can't I let me be me? Why can't I do something without judging myself? Why can't I be a fucked up person and not care? Everyone has flaws. Why do I loathe myself so much when it comes to my own?